A Lesson Learned from Bears (On Healthy Eating)

7.25.2012


When I think of the Grizzly Bear, I picture a very large muscular animal with sharp teeth and claws. The sort of animal you respect and wouldn't want to come face to face with in the wild. They are classified as carnivores (although they are technically omnivores) and it comes as no surprise. Just based on their sheer size and power you think "meat eater" immediately. Grizzlys have been known to prey on very large mammals---moose, deer, elk, bison, caribou, even black bears! They're hunters.

So imagine my surprise when I learned at the Toronto Zoo a couple of weeks ago that their diets consist mostly of plants. Yes, they eat meat, but as much as 80-90% of their diet is actually plant based.

If you've read my thoughts on healthy eating and diet, you know I'm not anti-meat. I do however think that we've seriously over emphasized it in our culture. People are quick to point out our need for protein and dairy, but fruits and vegetables are seriously lacking from our plates. I think this has a lot to do with advertisement and industry. Meat and dairy are big industries.

The fact of the matter is...we're omnivores. Which means we ought to be eating mostly plants. Your body generally doesn't need meat everyday. As a society, we tend to eat too much of it and what we do eat isn't always the best quality. And it drives me a little crazy to hear someone say they're eating healthy because their spaghetti has "grains and veggies" (ie sauce and noodles). Eating canned carrots isn't the same nutritionally as eating raw carrots. Cooked plants have very little nutrients left in them once heated. Then start adding other ingredients (like sugar and preservatives) or stripping it down (like white flour) and there's really not a lot left thats "good for you."

I've admitted to being hypocritical when it comes to healthy eating, but I do care about it and I found this little fact interesting. So I guess this is a lesson learned for me from the Grizzly Bear. If he eats mostly plants, surely I need to eat mostly plants??? I mean look at him...

Recommended book on this topic: The Omnivores Dilemma by Michael Pollan


The Worst Marriage Advice I've Ever Received

7.23.2012


While I am sure there are some universals when it comes to marriage, every marriage is going to look a little different. How you interact, how you argue, your dynamic---it's all influenced by the two unique people in that marriage. Values, personalities, ambitions---there are so many factors. No two marriages are going to be identical.

Over the last several years, especially prior to getting married myself, I often asked older couples if they had any advice about marriage. It was always interesting to hear the variety of feedback given from one couple to the next. It was funny (and a little scary) to hear couples say very different and contradictory things. I remember one couple adamantly advising me to always do our budget together no matter how hard. If they could leave me with only one piece of advice, they insisted this was crucial. That same week another wife explained that she lets her husband do all of their finances and that's how they'd always done it. She had no issue with this, it seemed to work for them.

So even as I write this list, I know that everyone will have a different dynamic and different opinions. And that is totally fine. These are just the things people told me before I got married that I'd say would have been terrible advice for us to follow in our marriage. I thought it would be fun to write them down.

The Worst Marriage Advice I've Ever Received 

1. Don't go to bed angry

Sometimes, you just need to get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning. Things won't seem so bad once you've cooled off. Fighting in the heat of the moment is not always best. I understand not wanting to leave things unresolved but at some point in your marriage you might discover that talking it to death won't lend perspective half as well as a good nights sleep. Sometimes, things look different in the daylight.

2. Don't have separate bank accounts

Okay our accounts are "connected" so we can see what the other person is doing with their money. But we do have separate checking accounts. It's easier for us. Based on what our separate income is we split the bills and we're responsible for those bills. This works better for us than having one big pool.

3. The first year is the hardest

Okay, maybe this was actually good advice because we went in a little terrified that the first year would be really hard and soon realized that this just wasn't going to be true for us. That first year is really difficult for a lot of couples but it has a lot to do with personalities and expectations.

Okay about how about the best advice?

1. Have weekly date nights

Date night doesn't have to mean going out and spending money. Even if it's just a a week night that you stay at home, turn off your cell phones, eat dinner together, watch your favorite tv show, or go for a walk. Making a point to purposely spend alone time together can do wonders for the health of your relationship. We have busy lives. We see each other every day but it's often in the context of commitments and other obligations. I don't always feel like I'm spending time with John Paul even if we're together. The busier we get, the more important this becomes.

2. Expectations can kill a marriage

The phrase "I thought" comes up a lot in marriage counseling. I thought marriage would be this way. I thought we'd celebrate Christmas with my family. I thought he'd be more romantic. Whatever it may be, coming into marriage with a lot of expectations or putting a lot of expectations on your spouse can lead to a whole lot of disappointment. It's not that you don't have standards or expect good things out of your marriage and spouse. I expect my husband to be faithful. I expect my husband to respect me. I expect my husband to be honest. It's okay to expect some things. But you have to remember that the person you married is flawed. They're gonna make mistakes. They were raised differently from you. And they may have different expectations about what marriage is suppose to look like as well.

3. Don't share your marriage problems or trash your husband to your friends

My mom once told me that you shouldn't talk about your marriage problems to your friends. This is a bit controversial but I think it was generally good advice. Maybe there is a place for sharing with friends when you are going through a difficult time but it has to be with the intent of finding healing, not just selfish justification. And I don't think it's ever okay to trash your spouse to others.


One of the biggest reasons not to do this is that you're only giving one side of a situation and potentially giving your friends a poor impression of your spouse. You may just be venting, but if they don't hear anything else but your complaints, they're going to start making judgements about your husband. I've noticed that I've unintentionally done this with some friends of mine who constantly complain about their husbands. And how would you feel if you overheard your husband trashing you to his friends or family? You'd probably be pretty pissed or hurt. 


If you're having serious marriage problems then seek the appropriate counsel, but otherwise try to build each other up to others. You don't have to give a fake picture of a perfect marriage or act like you have no problems, but you should be respectful of each other with your words and remember that words have power. Words, once said, can be forgiven, but they can never be taken back or unheard.
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What's the best or worst advice you were ever given about marriage?


31 Week Update

7.17.2012



Continuing my little update survey that I stole...

How far along: 31 weeks
Baby's size: 3-4 lbs and gaining roughly a lb a week from here on out
Sleep: Officially having trouble sleeping, even if I'm tired. Can't get comfortable. Slight insomnia. Exhausted.
Maternity Clothes: Purchased some cute trimester three things this past week because I was feeling huge and insecure. There's no hiding it at this point!
Food cravings: None what so ever.
Food aversions: Not really.
Symptoms I have: Swollen feet and ankles, back pain and just generally uncomfortable. No major symptoms though. 
Doctor’s Appointment: Every two weeks now yall! It seems like its so often.
Movement: Tons. He's long now so I feel him on both sides of my belly at once and John Paul can always feel him. 
Belly Button: Still an innie but so so close to popping out...
Gender: Boy! (Unless the doctor got it wrong...)
What I’m looking forward to: Setting up a baby room (this may become a reality in a couple of weeks!  Eee!)
What I miss: Feeling attractive. Just being honest you guys. The stuff pregnancy does to your body is not great for your self esteem. It's not that I'm depressed or feeling hideous, but I certainly don't feel sexy. My body feels foreign to me. 

Ahh! Less than 2 months til my due date! This pregnancy is flying by. :)


Two Year Anniversary

7.12.2012

Tuesday was my two year anniversary. Last year I was much more post happy, but this year I didn't have the time since we took an anniversary trip mid-week to Canada to celebrate. We spent a day at the Toronto Zoo (highlight---husband touching a shark! he's slightly phobic) and ended out the trip on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. Here's some pictures from the trip and the week:



(I got John Paul some very important items for the fall football season.)

My summer blog dreams are coming true thanks so some lovely ladies in my life. :)

Oh and by the way...
Only 2 months to go!

This pregnancy is flying by. It was good to get away for one last trip before becoming parents but honestly I feel so unattractive right now so it was really hard to get into the romantic mood that is suppose to accompany your anniversary. Still, it was a great trip. Restful and fun. I am lucky to have a husband like John Paul. We are so similar when it comes to the things we enjoy (like food and shark petting). We also had a chance to talk a lot about all the changes happening in our life. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all the changes and unknowns. I think we're both nervous and excited about becoming parents and it felt good to talk about that and just be together. I know alone time is going to be coveted in a couple of months. 

So all in all, a really great week. I am still very in love with my husband. Next anniversary we will have 10 month old in our pictures! :)


Summer Obsessions 2012

7.05.2012


Summer has a way of lifting your spirits. You emerge out of a cold winter and into a season that is very full. The weather is nice, people are outside, all the best foods are in season and there's always something going on (festivals, cookouts, pool parties). Some summers I love things like the smell of the ocean, flip flops, and beach dresses. This summer is a little different since I'm not really traveling and have no desire to dawn a swim suit. But, it's still summer! Here are some of my Summer 2012 obsessions.

Outdoor Events/Concerts


We haven't been to any major festivals yet this year (like say Taste of Buffalo, Shakespeare in Delaware Park or Thursday at the Harbor) but we have spent some time at the family campground and of course we saw fireworks yesterday with the family at the University of Buffalo.

Nude Colors

 


Nails, shoes, make-up, you name it. I'm a little behind on this trend (because I honestly didn't like it when it first started popping up) but now I'm obsessed with it. This fascination has not been acted upon since I'm trying to keep my consumerism in check...but man do I love this color for summer.

Local Farmers


Strawberries, Peaches, & Cantelope. The trifecta of summer fruits. So sweet and easily accessible all summer long.

Summer Salads / Cook-outs


Pasta, potato, bean, fruit, veggie...I love all summer salads with fresh ingredients. I also love cooking out on the grill. That smokey charred flavor mixed with my husband doing the cooking? Awesome.

Superhero Movies



We generally always see a lot of movies in the summer, but this year has been full of good superhero movies. Avengers, Spiderman, Batman...it's a good year for comic book fans.