tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34032540955416418752024-03-27T19:54:45.598-04:00These Mountains Are Mine.<i>There are mountains towering ahead. He says to me "These are mine. Hold my hand, you'll be fine." I could see for miles. He showed me that the mountain I'm climbing, is not a mountain at all, but a gentle slope leading home.</i>Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.comBlogger230125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-42746482406944471872015-05-26T17:29:00.001-04:002015-05-26T17:36:33.702-04:00Goodbye, Mountains.This will be my last post on <i>These Mountains Are Mine</i> and Jon Foreman has given me some very fitting final words. It was this song, which I heard today for the very first time, that has given me the courage to say goodbye.<br />
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"The Mountain"</div>
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The Wonderlands, Sunlight EP</div>
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Jon Foreman</div>
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Oh the feeling comes to me again</div>
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The feeling to give up and to give in</div>
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The feeling that I've already lost the war</div>
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But a pure heart is worth waiting for</div>
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Get behind me all you little fears</div>
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Get behind me all you wasted years</div>
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Get behind me everything I've done wrong</div>
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A pure heart is coming with the dawn</div>
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I've decided to face this mountain</div>
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Stare the mountain down between the eyes</div>
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I'm not running from this mountain of mine</div>
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I've decided to face this mountain</div>
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Stand up to the mountain tonight</div>
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I believe You can move the mountain side</div>
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She's a pretty devil in disguise</div>
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The devils in the details of her eyes</div>
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She's a blurry vision in a dress tonight</div>
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Her tongue is mixing drinks like truths and lies</div>
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Maybe faith is found inside a seed</div>
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Maybe faith is still found inside of me</div>
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Mostly I feel like I'm lost at sea</div>
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I believe, Lord help my unbelief</div>
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I've decided to face this mountain</div>
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Stare the mountain down between the eyes</div>
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I'm not running from this mountain side</div>
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I've decided to face to this mountain</div>
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Stand up to this mountain of mine</div>
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I believe You can move this mountain of mine</div>
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I believe You can move the mountain side</div>
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I believe You can move the mountain of mine</div>
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-92179760766104880942015-05-26T17:25:00.000-04:002015-05-26T17:36:25.456-04:00Reasons (Or, Final Words)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I enjoy reading things that make me pause and think deeply. It often takes me awhile to sort out those thoughts and I've found that if I don't write my first impressions down (however incomplete) I lose them. Putting pen to paper helps me take my scattered thoughts and organize them, make sense of them, and eventually articulate them. I'm simply mulling over possibilities and documenting my reactions and feelings. I'm typically <i>not</i> holding my thoughts to the standard I would if I was attempting to make a case for those opinions. That would require sourcing and suspending bias. If I was publishing something scholarly in nature, I would want to do those things, but blogging is not scholarly in nature, right?<br />
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Well perhaps I got that bit wrong, if only in part. After all, blogging and posting things to social media are essentially forms of self-publishing. A blog, I've learned, is a lot like a journal with an audience, but an audience that will hold your post to the standard of an article if they happen to disagree with your innermost thoughts.<br />
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Thoughts evolve. The more you learn, think, research, study, and reflect; the more you find yourself building views, beliefs, and opinions and altering existing ones. Publishing those thoughts can be a dangerous business. You may be held accountable for things you wrote years ago, for instance, or worse, your words may be misunderstood or hurt people that you love even if that was never your intention. The written word is impersonal in the sense that you cannot see your audience. You are removed from your audience. You may never know how your words made them feel.<br />
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I've spent months holding onto this blog, posting sporadically, unwilling to let it go. I liked the idea that it was here waiting for me, but I hardly ever hit publish, even when I spent hours writing and rewriting a post and am pretty proud of the end result. In truth, I write more consistently than ever, but I share less often than ever as well.<br />
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It has all come down to one simple question for me: "What is the purpose?"<br />
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Why am I writing this? What will publishing this post accomplish?<br />
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At one time, the purpose was engaging others in dialogue or, if I'm being completely honest, having a soapbox from which to express my opinions. I've since decided that this is not the best forum for either of those things. Most discussions are more productive in person and opinions are things people usually only want to hear when they <i>ask</i> to hear them.<br />
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There was one other purpose that I felt gave me my "why"---I found it to be <i>encouraging. </i><br />
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Other blogs have been a source of encouragement and growth to me. I feel as if I've gotten to know complete strangers through hearing their stories. I've laughed. I've cried. And there are many bloggers who do this blogging thing so well. I also like the notion that perhaps I could be a little more "known" by sharing my story. I've been told that people have found encouragement here.<br />
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Still, after a lot of reflection and some pretty honest (sort of tough) conversations with John Paul, I've come to the conclusion that most of the people who find encouragement in my words are people that I can encourage in more tangible ways, while those who do not find that here just need me to be a better friend in "real" life.<br />
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I wanted this to be a short post, but I was unable to keep it brief knowing it would be one of my last. I felt compelled to offer some sort of explanation if not for some unknown reader, at least for my own closure.<br />
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My hope is that I will continue to find outlets for writing and perhaps that will even take the form of a new, more focused blog (I'm making no promises here). But sadly, I think it is time to let this blog go. <i>These Mountains Are Mine</i> needs a conclusion.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-29059643012533823892015-02-23T10:18:00.002-05:002015-02-23T10:18:29.789-05:00Going to the gym sucks.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm just going to say it: I hate exercising.<br />
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Well, I hate exercising as an activity. Historically, I've always enjoyed playing sports, being active, hiking, dance, swimming, etc. but the whole concept of going to the gym for the purpose of exercise has never appealed to me and I chose music over sports in high school sealing my fate as a non-athlete.<br />
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Despite the fact that I do feel great post-work out (energized, accomplished) getting STARTED is something I fight fiercely. There are two main reasons (which are most peoples reasons...):<br />
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<i>1. I'm tired</i><br />
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I know the paradox---if I exercise more, I'll have more energy---but it's hard to see that when you're a working mom who feels stretched thin and just wants to relax in the evening with her family or sleep an extra few minutes in the morning before her 2 year old barrels in at full speed. Half the time I don't even feel up to cooking dinner when I get home in the evening---when would I ever have the energy to work out?<br />
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<i>2. I'm out of shape</i><br />
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Um...but really. This has very little to do with weight. Even in high school when I was a size 2, I could not run a mile. Getting from 'can't run a mile' to 'regularly exercising' is probably the biggest hump in getting healthy or losing weight.<br />
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The thing is, I just don't see life long healthiness happening without exercise. I mean yes, diet is probably even more important and sure, it feels ridiculous to live in a culture that has to fit in an exercise routine rather than just live actively, but <b>I sit at a desk 8-10 hours a day and I'm pretty sure it's slowly killing me...</b><br />
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So many of my friends seem to love the gym, or yoga, or running marathons, or whatever it may be. But it also seems like the most successful have to make it their lives. It becomes apart of their identity. You can only commit whole heartedly to so many things and I've already committed to as much as I can manage and not to things I can just cast aside.<br />
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So I guess my question is---can I be a healthy and balanced person without fitness becoming a major part of my identity? Can I get in and stay in shape without being consumed by meal planning, work-out plans, and rigorous routines?<br />
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I wonder.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-20334568413549259702015-01-16T17:37:00.000-05:002015-01-16T17:47:20.906-05:00Why popular baby names are not as popular as you might think...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Lately, August's name has been popping up on a lot of baby name lists which, even if they aren't accurate, are at least drawing attention to the name which could trigger a rise in popularity. I have mixed feelings about this and I'm not the only one. In fact, many of my friends are noticing their "unique" names popping up on these lists. </div>
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The baby boomer generation (our parents) always seems to be surprised by what my friends and I are naming our children. "Oh I've never heard of that" is a common comment. But names that seem unique, even strange to them, in reality are actually becoming quite common. </div>
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This could just be the way name trends naturally happen. For example, my mother SWEARS that "Matthew" was not a common name when she chose it for my brother, but he was always one of several Matts in his classrooms. </div>
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Another explanation might be that the name was always around but we just fail to notice it as much until it's your kid. Since August was born our family has noticed characters in movies and books that have been around for a long time, and even discovered distant relatives with the same name. </div>
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I find names to be very interesting. Why we choose names, their purpose, how they vary culture to culture---it's all really fascinating to me. Name trends are something I read up on a lot before I got pregnant. My goal was to choose a name that wasn't weird (nothing I made up or he'd hate me for) but was unique. This desire was a result of really liking my name which I consider to be pretty unique (I've never had a friend named Noelle) but also normal (everyone knows the name, I've HEARD of other people named Noelle). We chose August in part because I felt it was just such a name. August was a very popular name at one time (think late 1800s) that went out of vogue to the point of no one having heard of it, and now it seems to be making a little come back. </div>
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Naturally, it can be a little disheartening to think you came up with the perfect, unique name only to discover that it's jumping up the charts. But as someone who regularly looks at the data, I have found some solace in the fact that a trend towards uniqueness means that even popular names are being used less than the popular names of the past. </div>
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For instance, in 1957, the number one baby name for a boy was Michael.<br />
Over 90,000 babies born in 1957 were named Michael.</div>
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Compare that to 2013 when the top baby name for a boy was Noah and represented only a little over 18,000 babies born. </div>
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Yes, there were more babies born overall in 1957, but even when comparing percentages it's still a drastic difference. So yes, Noah is the number one name, but it's less common than that implies since names are much more diverse these days overall. If your name is outside the Top 20, or even better the Top 100, chances are you won't encounter too many kids in the classroom who share your child's name. You'll hear of other kids named the same thing, maybe even meet a few, but no name will dominate in the way names have dominated past generations. (Fun fact: Michael has been in the Top 3 for like 50 of the last 60 years...that's a lot of Michaels).</div>
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So take heart current and future parents! Even if your not-as-unique-as-you-thought name shows up on these lists---it's not as bad as it sounds. And if you REALLY want your child to be unique, consider naming them one of those oh-so popular names from your generation because, while misguided, they are being avoided in mass.</div>
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-84081795077530142972015-01-06T10:59:00.000-05:002015-01-06T11:15:26.668-05:00Undeserved Love: Time to "Practice What I Preach"<i>This post was written two years ago and never published but I recently stumbled upon the draft and decided I was ready to share it. I hope it is encouraging to read the "updates" which are in italics. </i><br />
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By now you are likely aware that I believe that <b>every </b>person deserves grace and love. But actually, it would be more accurate to say that I believe that <u>no one</u> really deserves grace or love. Love isn't something that we can earn. If we try to earn love, we will fail, because every person alive is flawed. No one is perfect. We have all done bad things. No one really <i>deserves</i> to be loved one hundred percent of the time. We have all acted selfishly and we have all hurt others. In my opinion, if you have to earn love, then it's not really love. Because true love is not conditional. It continues even when you are at your worst and even when you wrong the one loving you. I know that not everyone views love in this way, but I do. And this belief has been a difficult one for me. Being committed to this definition can be painful. It would be a lie to say that loving your enemies is easy. It actually kind of sucks.<br />
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What happens when someone purposely hurts you? When someone acts in a way that is not at all loving? In fact they act so selfishly that their choices benefit themselves while causing you pain. What if you did nothing to deserve what they did to you? What if they truly don't deserve your compassion? What if they deserve to suffer the consequences because they inflicted pain on another either out of selfish indifference or malice? Maybe they hurt you on purpose or maybe they didn't mean to hurt you but were just acting selfishly and didn't care enough to think about how it effected anyone else.<br />
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Our culture pretty much views love as a feeling that you should chase. It is a feeling reserved for potential lovers and people we care about, not for our enemies. When someone is mean to you, you have every right to be mean right back. They deserve what's coming to them and you can, perhaps even should, retaliate. Our compassion is reserved for the victims, not the ones who inflicted the pain. In fact, despite our supposed war on bullying and hate crimes---hate is deemed "okay" when you're hating someone who did something deplorable. But...hate is still hate. Can we not see the irony in that sort of thinking? Can we not see the brokenness of the person who did the deplorable act?<br />
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Dr. Martin Lurther King, Jr. summarized this idea well:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"There will come a time, in many instances, when the person who hates you most, the person who has misused you most, the person who has gossiped about you most, the person who has spread false rumors about you most, there will come a time when you will have an opportunity to defeat that person. It might be in terms of a recommendation for a job; it might be in terms of helping that person to make some move in life. That’s the time you must not do it. That is the meaning of love. In the final analysis, love is not this sentimental something that we talk about. It’s not merely an emotional something. Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all men. <b>It is the refusal to defeat any individual. </b>When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power, you seek only to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system." </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- MLK, Jr. from his 'Loving Your Enemies' sermon</span></span></div>
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It is a very painful path to strive to be the kind of person who shows this sort of love. But the person we are so angry at for being unloving...they're buying into a system that portrays love as conditional and self-beneficial. <b>We will never defeat the system by being apart of it.</b><br />
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<i>I thought about ending the post here. The final two paragraphs of the original post were a confession. I discussed a situation that had landed me in a place where I did not want to show love or grace to the person who hurt me. I did not want to be the bigger person. I was struggling with notions of justice and punishment---of what they deserved. I actually felt pretty vengeful. </i><i>The final lines of that post were:</i><br />
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Even though I feel this way, love is still (and always will be) a choice.<br />
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I choose to love this person. I choose to show compassion and to try to understand their perspective. I choose to love them even when I don't feel like it. I still believe that everyone deserves to be loved and I guess it's time to practice what I preach. It's time to love even when it hurts to do so. It's time.<br />
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<i>At the time, this was just ambition. It did not line up with my actual feelings. I believed (and still believe) to my core that love IS a choice. I chose to act loving towards that person, to fight the bitter feelings of resentment, and...I eventually won the battle. I never really had the opportunity to reconcile fully with the person and it took me awhile to forgive them, but I have forgiven them. I defeated the feelings of hate and thoughts of retaliation. </i><br />
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<i>The idea that we can't control how we feel is only half true. I couldn't make the anger disappear overnight, but I could choose what I did with those thoughts and how I acted on them and our actions and principles eventually become our thoughts---that is the only method of building character that I know of. I am so happy to have come out on the other side of this battle in victory. The alternative (buying into an evil system) would have only led to bitterness. I learned how to love an enemy (how to turn feelings of hate into feelings of love). It took a long time, but I've never felt more strongly that we are capable of loving the unlovable then I do now.</i><br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-36905122128780730332014-12-25T12:21:00.002-05:002014-12-25T12:21:32.877-05:00Go Tell It On The Mountain<div style="border: 0px none; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px 10px; padding: 0px; text-align: center;">
All the poor and powerless<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And all the lost and lonely<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />All the thieves will come confess<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And know that You are holy<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Will know that You are holy<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And all will sing out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And we will cry out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And all the hearts that are content<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And all who feel unworthy<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And all who hurt with nothing left<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Will know that You are holy<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And all will sing out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And we will cry out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><i style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">[x2]</i><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Shout it<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Go on and scream it from the mountains<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Go on and tell it to the masses<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />That He is God<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><i style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">[x5]</i><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />We will sing out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And we will cry out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />We will sing out<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Hallelujah<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Shout it<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Go on and scream it from the mountains<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Go on and tell it to the masses<br style="border: 0px none; font-size: 1em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />That He is God</div>
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"All the Poor and Powerless"</div>
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- All Sons and Daughters -</div>
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-82524312596993135902014-12-18T10:14:00.002-05:002014-12-18T10:14:53.942-05:00The Ghost in the Electric Blue Suit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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About a month ago, for reasons I cannot recall, I found myself browsing Buffalo "Meet Up" groups. The only one that I was drawn to was a book club for "eclectic readers." This basically means a book club for people who read widely across genres. (I like to think of this as a <br />
'snob-free' book club). I looked at their past book selections and found a number of books on my own to-read list and some favorites that I can never seem to find anyone to talk to about. I've always liked the idea of book clubs. Every time I finish a book I am bursting to talk to someone about it, to discuss it. I liked that this group could read <i>Divergent </i>one month and <i>Goldfinch </i>the next. I liked that there were fantasy books in the mix with more acclaimed literature. It was refreshing and I found that I was sad I hadn't found it sooner because they'd already read and discussed many books I would really like to read and discuss.<br />
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I have yet to make it to a meeting, but I did pick up a copy of their December book to read in hopes of making it to the December meeting. It was a book I wasn't familiar with. Usually it's difficult for me to get into a book I don't have prior interest in, but I gave it a go.<br />
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The book was <i>The Ghost in the Electric Blue Suit</i> by Graham Joyce. Having no expectations whatsoever, I found the book to be pretty interesting. It feels mostly like literature but there are elements of fantasy, ghost story, and mystery that make it hard to confine to one genre. It's set in the 1970s in England so it's very British in it's language and fits neatly into the political climate of the time. There were some plot devices that worked quite well on me creating feelings of anxiety and suspense and raising questions about the reliability of the characters and even the story itself.<br />
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After I finished, I allowed myself to google the book and read some of the reviews and background on the author. I read that the book was just released in the U.S. this past summer and that Joyce passed away shortly afterward. Something about this discovery unsettled me. It was like arriving at a party thinking you are on time, only to find out that the party was actually last weekend. I found myself reading a blog post he wrote only a month before his passing on his still active website in which he beautifully talked about facing his mortality while also seeming as if he expected to get better and continue writing for a very long time. He didn't want to die. He didn't know he would be gone so soon. It was both poignant and eery. It was like reading a letter from a ghost. Which, given the book I just read, felt wildly appropriate and also incredibly sad.<br />
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It has all left me feeling a bit haunted.<br />
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(I like to think that Graham Joyce would be happy to know his words are haunting me).<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-54076992524250893062014-11-26T11:16:00.000-05:002014-11-26T13:15:46.520-05:00Reacting to FergusonI think what frustrates me most about situations like what is happening in Ferguson is that there is rampant bias and agenda on <u>both</u> sides. I understand the instinct to react in the extreme when you see bias, but it's not helpful in the long run. My initial reaction was to be upset with the rioting and protests. They seem very counterproductive. They hurt innocent people like small business owners and emergency personnel who have nothing to do with the case. This is not justified. What does it accomplish? I suppose it brings attention to the issue---but at what cost?<br />
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The justice system shouldn't be swayed by public opinion. If the evidence indicates that the officer was attacked and reacted the way any officer would have then he shouldn't be punished simply to satiate a mob. We shouldn't assume something is racially charged simply because one party is white and one party is black. We also shouldn't just assume his innocence or make the issue of race smaller than it is simply because a few inflate it.<br />
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That being said, I think that there is a reason people are upset and frustrated and it would be callous to ignore their voices.<br />
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Consider this:<br />
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<b><i>- The officer is not "innocent" </i></b><br />
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This isn't a question of whether or not the officer took a life. The officer did kill a person. Whether or not he was acting in self-defense, whether or not it was racially charged, whether or not he should or shouldn't face criminal charges, etc. do not change the fact that a person was killed. Those things can be argued in court, but the death of another human being is never something to take lightly or brush aside as unavoidable. <i>Of course</i> it should be investigated. Someone is dead.<br />
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<i><b>- This was an indictment, not a trial</b></i><br />
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There's no defense present at an indictment. An indictment is simply a prosecutor presenting evidence and witnesses so that it can be decided whether or not there's enough to warrant a trial. It doesn't mean the person is guilty, just that there's enough of a question to take it to court. The only reason a case would not receive an indictment is if there is something about the case that makes it VERY CLEAR that no crime could POSSIBLY have been committed. As complicated as this case may be, I seriously doubt it's straight-forward enough to warrant no trial. Keep in mind that for every 10,000 indictments, less than 1 does not proceed to court. It's just a normal step in the process. This implies at least some level of corruption.<br />
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<i><b>- Racial profiling isn't made up</b></i><br />
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While there are certainly people oversimplifying the situation, that doesn't mean that there aren't problems with the system. I read an article that shared data from Missouri's state government about Ferguson and was surprised by the statistics. "Black residents of Ferguson are twice as likely to be stopped and/or searched as white residents, and they are far more likely to be arrested. But searches of black residents are much <i>less</i> likely to discover contraband than searches of white residents."<br />
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All of this to say---it's not simple. Making assumptions about how other people think and feel or what motivates them is dangerous. Ignoring the voices of community members who genuinely feel that their lives matter less than their peers is not okay either. We have come a very long way since 1860, and even 1960, and that should be celebrated. But if anything, Ferguson shows us that we haven't "arrived"---the United States is not a perfect, egalitarian society. We're made up of imperfect people and systems that can break or become corrupted. We have to continue to work towards equality---and we'll likely never be able to stop. So yes, #prayforferguson and never stop working towards a world that values <i>every </i>human life: officers, criminals, victims, oppressed people groups, the unborn, the disabled, the alien, the whore, the zealot---<i>every</i> life matters.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-13717731706011649872014-10-10T10:11:00.001-04:002014-10-10T10:11:40.438-04:00October<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Autumn makes me nostalgic, and despite the chill in the air, optimistic. I always seem to want to start new things in the Fall. You would think this would be a Spring attitude, but not for me. Fall marks the beginning of things to me. School starting, steadiness and routine returning, the ability to wear both warm and cold weather outfits, new albums from my favorite bands, reprieve from humidity, the promise of the holidays and family visits just over the horizon, and weather that makes me happy to be alive. In New York, autumn is a bit tainted since it's shorter and signals the coming of a much colder winter, but even New York fall has it's charms with all the vibrant leaves, apple activities, and boots that seem more functional than ridiculous.<br />
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October in particular has been my <i>favorite</i> month my entire life for a myriad of reasons. It's my birth month. It contains at least one long weekend (well, used to). I get to drink my chai tea warm. It's the first month I feel justified in making large pots of soup. There are football games, homecoming events, bonfires...and in North Carolina the Dixie Classic Fair.<br />
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The fair was a fall event where I'm from (not a summer event like it is in NY) and it was a romanticized, ethereal experience growing up. Night time at the fair was perhaps the most anything-could-happen, romantic setting of my youth. I went with my friends every year, wandering and wondering what the night would hold. More than once, I held the hand of a boy on the ferris wheel and thought I might float away...or throw up.<br />
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If it weren't for Halloween, a holiday I've never been fond of (mostly due to my hatred of horror movies), October would be perfect. So perfect, that despite it being my favorite I purposely avoided getting married in the Fall so that I'd have things to look forward to the rest of the year.<br />
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I guess I'm doomed to wax-poetic every October. I just really love fall, y'all.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-51433075858831801552014-09-12T09:24:00.001-04:002014-09-12T09:28:38.116-04:0028: John PaulWhen I met John Paul he was 21 and he looked like this:<br />
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He had long hair, wore skinny jeans, and played guitar in a band. We had similar taste in music, basically the same upbringing, and nearly identical senses of humor. He had a smile and charisma that drew you to him and when you got to know him you quickly realized what a ginormous heart for others he had. He was the kind of guy that saw the best in others while I questioned their motives. He was loyal, kind, funny, and soooo good looking. He apparently felt the same way about me because we soon found ourselves dating.</div>
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Our combined awesome was almost too much for the world to handle. It didn't take long for me to realize I needed to spend the rest of my life with this guy.</div>
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So I married him. </div>
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The last 4 1/2 years of marriage has been quite an adventure. There have been many bumps along the way including this one:</div>
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Today is his 28th birthday---an age that is both old and young. And I guess I still like the guy. ;)</div>
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So Happy Birthday to my husband John Paul---truly my best friend. I am so thankful that we spend so much time laughing, that you are a wonderful dad, that you still have that big heart and killer smile, and that you remain soooo good looking. Here's to a lifetime full of birthday celebrations, love, adventure, laughter, and pizza.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-53015904872306944532014-08-05T09:36:00.000-04:002014-08-05T09:36:18.765-04:00New Endeavours, Part 1: Sacrifice<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sacrifice. To give up something important or valued for the sake of other considerations. </i></span></div>
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We live in a culture obsessed with living in the moment. The trouble with this philosophy is that 'the moment' is temporal. We cannot sustain the moment so we often chase the highs from one moment to the next. This leads to some unintended consequences. If you aren't willing to work through the hard stuff, you unwittingly doom yourself to a shallow life. Because the things that bring true, lasting fulfillment usually take time and investment. If you want to live a long life full of energy and confidence---you probably are going to have to sacrifice your in-the-moment eating habits. If you want to be in love with the same person for your entire life, you may have to compromise some of your plans and desires for the sake of theirs. If you want to be financially stable in the long run, you might have to work two jobs for a season and not buy all the things you really want. Everything has a cost. Discipline is not a bad thing. It can, like all things, be taken too far, but sacrifice itself can lead to some really positive things. <br />
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There are things that I care deeply about, but I am held back by my limitations. We are in a season of life that is extremely busy and I often feel stretched thin. Giving a bit of myself to all of the things pulling at my time just means that no one gets all of me. And I hate that. I feel like no one gets me at my best. But how do I change that?<br />
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At the beginning of the summer I felt completely overwhelmed and had to sit down and really evaluate some things. What did I truly value. Those are the things to focus on. Simultaneously, if something is holding me back from those things maybe I need to focus on getting myself to a place where I can invest in the things I care about.<br />
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There are a ton of things I want to give my time and resources too---my spouse, my son, my family and friends, my church, my job, causes that I care about, activities that I enjoy---etc. Some of those things will never be sacrificed for the sake of anything else (JP & August), but others need to be sidelined temporarily.<br />
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I concluded that I was never going to make any progress in any area if I didn't get more focused. So, the two goals I singled in on were: get out of debt & get into shape.<br />
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If we can get out of debt then we won't be held back financially from investing in the things we value or making big life changes if needed. If I can get in better shape I'll have more energy and confidence to give to the things I care about. These two "basics" trickled down and effect everything else.<br />
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So we jumped in. Turns out, it's hard to do these simultaneously. Saving money isn't always compatible with healthy eating. Working extra jobs isn't always compatible with getting to the gym. I'm not giving up on either goal, but as a family we've been focusing mostly on the debt goal. We both work full-time and have a son who needs to be cared for so picking up an extra job on the side like waiting tables just wasn't realistic. We had to find other means of secondary income. John Paul picked up a couple overnight shifts at his parents campground for the summer (seasonal) and has been fixing iphones for people on the side. I've always had some extra income from It Works (vitamins, skincare, and body wraps) which is how my mother makes her living, but decided to pursue some other means of income as well (more on that later). My hope is that by making sacrifices now, we will have more freedom later. The freedom to read and write daily, to invest into things we care about, to change careers or go back to school, to have more children, to travel and see my family more often, and on the list goes.<br />
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I feel held back, but at least now I'm holding myself back with an end game in mind rather than being held back by my circumstances. Sacrifice is never fun, but it can (hopefully will) lead to better things.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-90320411219691162372014-07-15T16:04:00.003-04:002014-07-15T16:04:53.653-04:00Mom Guilt: Part 2 (Reality)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When it comes to parenting, I have a suspicion that guilt and self-doubt are just part of the deal. </div>
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<strike>Some</strike> Most days I feel incredibly inadequate. I adore my son, but as we enter the toddler age and find ourselves navigating the waters of tantrums, picky eating, and potty training, I start to wonder if the bad behavior is normal or my fault. </div>
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Guilt starts to eat away at my insides thinking about how impossible my schedule makes it to give August any kind of set routine. </div>
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I read lists of things not to feed your toddler and find that I'm feeding August something in the Top 5. </div>
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I wonder if he he's behind developmentally because I'm not teaching him enough---should he know how to count? say his ABCs? what age is it normal to start recognizing shapes and colors? </div>
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I worry about him getting too much exposure to technology or not enough time outdoors. </div>
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Just yesterday, August had a very public, very explosive tantrum---his first ever. I was shocked and so embarrassed I wanted to cry. </div>
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But the worst guilt comes on the days that I find myself daydreaming about an alternate life where I'm not a mom and I feel even guiltier for feeling that way when I have friends who are struggling with infertility.</div>
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I know I probably shouldn't care what other people think of me (though it's hard not to when I'm at the grocery store in yoga pants and a messy top bun) but right now I am imagining my friends who have multiples rolling their eyes at me and reading this post out loud in a whiney voice to their husbands. I picture single friends groaning and my friends who've experienced loss slamming their laptop shut in anger. But maybe not...maybe someone is sighing in relief that they're not the only one that thinks they might be messing up their kids or daydreams about being a travel journalist every now and then when it gets tough.</div>
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My plan was to end this post with something encouraging...but wouldn't be more honest to just end it mid senten</div>
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-282001950773391872014-07-15T15:45:00.000-04:002014-07-15T15:45:00.049-04:00Mom Guilt: Part 1 (Stories)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In the span of the last 24 hours I received news that a friend is pregnant and news that another friend miscarried. Two women who I admire a great deal experiencing two very different, but equally powerful emotions. Meanwhile I have single friends, and mothers of multiples all experiencing a wide variety of emotions and challenges each day.<br />
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I've always been an advocate of sharing stories---both for the deeper understanding it can bring about things I have never experienced and the community that forms around shared experiences. Yet, while I love reading honest and emotional stories, I also worry that those stories and my own will bring painful reminders to some. I feel guilty for complaining about a challenging aspect of parenting when I have friends our there who would trade just about anything to be in my shoes.<br />
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Try as I might to not let it become my whole identity, I find myself writing about marriage and parenting more than anything else. Sometimes I feel like a fraud---some silly girl pretending she knows what she's doing. Trust me when I say that I don't have <i>anything </i>figured out. The reason I write is the fact that writing has always helped me process challenges and find a sense of normalcy and community with others experiencing similar things. More than anything though, I write about marriage and parenting (and other things I care about) because it helps me to remember why I value those things in the first place (especially when I start to feel weary).<br />
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This is a preface of sorts. When I vent about being a parent I do so out of a desire to regain my sanity <i>and</i> perspective. To remind myself it's all worth it. I do not regret becoming a mother and I would be devastated if I lost my son. If anything, most of my mom guilt stems from feeling like I'm not doing a good enough job, that I owe it to my son and to other women who can't have children to be better at this. So no matter what I say or write, please know---I wouldn't trade it.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-15211500619850924912014-06-23T16:11:00.000-04:002014-06-23T16:11:20.023-04:00Tips for Gifts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As someone who loves <a href="http://thesemountainsaremine.blogspot.com/2011/06/art-of-gift-giving.html">gifts </a>(both giving and receiving) I thought I would share some tips for those who feel like they aren't very good at gifts. Especially husbands, who seem to feel a lot of pressure to make anniversaries, birthdays, etc. special.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Tips for Gifts</i></span></div>
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<b><u>1. It truly is the thought that counts</u></b><br />
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While there are certainly some people out there who have very specific gifts in mind, for most people it's more about the thought/the effort than the thing itself. Big or small, expensive or homemade, it's the gesture of being thought of, of someone wanting to do something special for you, that really counts. Even those who are perfectly fine not receiving gifts may enjoy a note or other small gesture to show that they are on your mind.<br />
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<u><b>2. Know the Person</b></u><br />
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The only way to truly know what someone would like to receive as a gift is to know that person. Some women love flowers and others hate them. Some people would prefer a gift of your time (like dinner out) or an act of service (like washing the dishes) to a tangible gift. All you really have to do is pay attention/have the desire to know what sorts of things they like. Make notes (mental or on your smart phone) when they mention really liking something or you witness them enjoying something---you can always refer back to that list later. Also, if they are the type of person who doesn't care about surprises, just ask them what sorts of things they like to receive as a gift! Then they are guaranteed to like it and if you ask far enough in advance they may even forget what they told you.<br />
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<u><b>3. Ask for Help</b></u><br />
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Okay, so you know it's really about the thought and you feel like you know the person, but you still feel lost? It is time to ask for help. Seriously. There are so many resources at your disposal. For example, if you are that husband that does not feel creative and you're married to a person who really loves surprises and romance---ask someone who <i>is</i> creative for help. Your mom, sister, your wife's best friend---whoever. It doesn't make it less special simply because you didn't come up with it completely on your own. If anything, it shows how far you are willing to go to make your spouse feel special.<br />
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<u><b>4. Pinterest / Google</b></u><br />
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Honestly if you just google "anniversary ideas" or "date ideas" you will get a plethora of options. You don't have to join pinterest to go on and search and trust me when I say In this day and age there's really no excuse (other than not trying) because you could literally just steal someone else's idea and duplicate it exactly (this isn't a business model, it's just a date---it's okay to plagiarize just this once).<br />
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<u><b>5. Sacrifice</b></u><br />
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I read an article once that said the perfect gift is one that requires you to sacrifice. Whether it be time, comfort, preference, money, whatever---sacrifice is a great quality in a gift. It could be as simple as seeing the movie your spouse prefers even though it's not something you enjoy or spending your day off doing something for them when you'd rather be on the golf course. In other words, to paraphrase the aforementioned article: "The perfect gift isn't one that begs for reciprocation, or sends a loud signal that you're a big-time sport. The perfect gift is simply about the recipient, not you."<br />
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Other good gift qualities include being personal, surprising, or a luxury (meaning something they don't get that often which lets be honest---for a mother that could be as simple as a NAP).<br />
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As I've written before, for me gifts aren't about cost or extravagance. You could give me a leaf you found in the park for all I care---if it made you think of me and you share that with me there's a good chance that I will treasure it.<br />
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<i>Disclaimer: </i>I've met people who are truly obsessed with STUFF and STATUS and these tips will not satisfy those sorts of people. If you're buying a gift for this sort of person you're better off just flat out asking for a list of what they want or including a gift receipt. Otherwise---I truly think these tips will be helpful for those who just feel lost when it comes to trying to make the people they love feel special.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-3262811834499074522014-05-16T18:47:00.000-04:002014-05-17T11:09:05.816-04:00Wonderful and Relentless<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I don't believe that you have to be married or have children in order for your life to be meaningful. These things don't determine your value. However, I must say that my experience has confirmed a suspicion I've had for quite some time. Major life milestones are among the things that propel us into adulthood.<br />
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Marriage and parenthood in particular have the power to mature you at an accelerated rate. Marriage is one of the first significant commitments you can make that is both a.) difficult to back out of; and b.) effects someone other than you. Living in a partnership with another human being is no joke. Although it can be one of the most fulfilling relationships human experience has to offer, it is difficult to transition from a world that mostly revolves around you to a world centered around an "us." Sure, there are friends and family invested in your life when you're single, maybe even a significant other, but for the most part you can navigate your life decisions alone without a ton of fall out. As a single person I could make decisions like---should I take this new job? or, should I eat that donut? without worrying too much about someone being displaced or upset that I spent $2.85 that wasn't in the budget. In marriage, all of your decisions, big or small, in some way effect your spouse. Your emotionally invested, also probably selfish---spouse. Learning to put someone else's needs above your own becomes a critical practice.<br />
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Ah, but if marriage forces us to mature then parenthood is the ultimate acceleration milestone. It changes your whole identity (not that you lose your self completely) and requires pouring yourself into a relationship that you technically won't get a tangible return on. (Yes, you'll probably get love and other intangibles that are totally worth it---but you'll also acquire lots of pain, worry, and sleep deprivation---you'll NEVER get that sleep back!). Unlike marriage, you can't undo parenthood. Once you're a parent you can never not be a parent again. It's. for. life. Macaulay Culkin might have legally divorced his parents, but biologically he's stuck with them forever. I can divorce my husband and be single again, but I can't divorce my children and cease to be a mom. Not really.<br />
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Both of these sorts of relationships require <i>sacrifice.</i><br />
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True self sacrifice---of your time, your desires, and even your body. Sacrifice demands growth, maturity, and all sorts of other STRETCHY words.<br />
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This quote from <a href="http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/features/emma-brockes/john-green?page=full&src=longreads&utm_content=buffer156bf&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer">an interview with John Green </a>captures it well:<br />
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"Given [John Green's] propensity for anxiety, having children worries him a great deal---"there's that revelation of oh, this is for ever"---and he is constantly amazed by how wonderful and relentless it is. "It's because the sacrifice is ordinary that it is looked past. It is far harder than many of the extraordinary sacrifices that are always being lauded. And it goes unnoted by the person for whom you are sacrificing. It wasn't until I had a child that I called my parents and was like, 'Oh! This was difficult. I'm sorry.' I thought it was a pleasure to parent me the whole way through."<br />
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The sacrifices of parenthood are "ordinary" (in that they are done by many), but just because they aren't considered noteworthy doesn't mean they aren't pretty remarkable. I am amazed at how much I've changed in just the past couple of years alone and it's basically all August's fault. ;)<br />
So no, parenthood is not the goal of life and it doesn't make a person "better" than any other person. And we promise not to whine too much when it's hard because we definitely chose this path. But honestly? We do need some recognition every now and then. Pat a mom or dad on the back and tell them they're doing a good job---because this parenting stuff is not easy. As Green says, it's wonderful...and it's relentless.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-22201735114257691592014-05-09T16:13:00.000-04:002014-06-23T16:27:09.637-04:00In Defense of Soccer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am a fan of soccer. Not a die-hard, live and breathe it sort of fan. I'm not claiming to be an expert about all the goings on in the world of soccer, so please don't quiz me. I don't even have a favorite team outside of supporting the U.S. national team. I do enjoy the sport though and I've been wanting to write a post "defending" why I like it for quite awhile.<br />
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There are better people to write a defense of soccer that understand it much better than I, but because there are not many things more annoying to me than snide remarks from people who talk about soccer as if it is an inferior sport (and because it's my blog and I feel like it), on we go.<br />
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I'd like to preface this post by stating that I like sports in general. Although admittedly my love of sports has suffered in recent years and I have my qualms with certain aspects of it, overall I see a lot of value in athletic activities. As an observer, I am a fan particularly of professional football, college basketball, hockey, and even baseball when the mood hits.<br />
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<i><b>First lets address some of the common snide comments made about soccer.</b></i><br />
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<b>1. "It's not manly." </b><br />
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This statement, in all it's variations, is hardly ever followed by a legitimate reason, but I'll address some possible reasons I've come up with.<br />
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If you think it's not masculine because women play it (whereas you rarely see a women playing football or hockey) then my response is pretty simple: I don't think you can say something inherently lacks "manliness" simply because a woman is capable of doing it. Women participate in their own leagues for most other sports including---racing, ultimate fighting, boxing, basketball, olympic sports, and so on. Soccer isn't really any different than the majority of sports on that level. Sports are typically not co-ed because of size/build differences and other concerns not because of the skills needed for the sport itself preclude women from participating.<br />
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If you think it's not manly because you are under the illusion that it's "easy" you are just misinformed (see players section below).<br />
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If you think it's not manly because it lacks the equipment protection needed by more "physical sports" you are excluding snowboarding, racing, most olympic sports, ultimate fighting, basketball, baseball, and well---most sports. Additionally, you have probably never watched enough soccer or played it enough to realize how physical it really is and WITHOUT all the gear protection---which to me seems to actually make it more "manly."<br />
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<b>2. "It's a poor mans sport."</b><br />
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This is sort of a prejudiced comment, but it comes up. It's popular because it's cheap is the concept. There is some truth to that (see community benefits below) but it doesn't work on the whole. Soccer is extremely popular in both developed and undeveloped countries. Europe has some of the most extensive soccer programs and one of the most booming soccer industries in the world and the sport is supported by affluent upper classes just as much as the lower classes.<br />
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<b>3. "It's boring."</b><br />
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My initial reaction to this is---how could it be the entire rest of the worlds <i>favorite</i> sport if it's inherently boring?<br />
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My guess is that it's boring to some Americans because they don't know enough about it (rules, play, athletes, etc) or lack the strong community ties to a local team needed to get emotionally invested. Whether or not a sport is exciting is fairly subjective. I happen to think golf and baseball are extremely boring to watch on television, but a whole lot of people disagree with me.<br />
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I've heard the low scoring referenced in tandem with this statement. Yet, not all sports are high scoring. Hockey is scored very similarly to soccer for instance and regulation time can end with a 0-0 score. Baseball often see's no score for several innings straight (and is a game where they stand around an awful lot) and basically can't end in no score because it is untimed and therefore can't end until someone scores. Even football would be a low scoring game if it was scored differently (a touchdown being 1 point rather than 6 would make for quite a lower score). Personally I feel like the points mean a lot more in soccer. In basketball, a basket barely has meaning until the end of the game. I get that a soccer game, unlike almost all other sports, can end with no score and does so regularly enough to warrant some criticism, but that's certainly not always the case. I feel that if you like and understand the sport the games are rarely boring. I've seen grown men get just as passionate about a soccer game (the bad calls, missed saves, penalties, etc) as a football game.<br />
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<i><b>Next let me tell you some of the reasons I like soccer. Particularly I want to tell you the benefit / good it does for different areas of athletics:</b></i><br />
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FOR PLAYERS --- Soccer takes a high level of endurance and skill to play.<br />
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The misconception that soccer is "easy" is absurd. It's a different skill set then American football where you need to have the physical strength and mental capacity to play in "bursts" that are fast paced and physically intense. In contrast, some of the important skills for soccer are endurance, on-going team communication, and accuracy. You cannot play it without loads of conditioning and skill practice.<br />
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The fact is, it's one of the few sports that relies more purely skills than it does stature. Not having the right build or height can exclude you from basketball and football no matter what your work ethic is like. However if you want to play soccer but you're only 5'9 you can work your butt off and excel. Genetics doesn't count you out of the game. Soccer is a great equalizer when it comes to sports. Either your good or your not, you can't blame mom and dad for sucking at this sport or "going undrafted YET AGAIN despite a solid 40 time and GREAT HANDS." (Daniel Tosh)<br />
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FOR KIDS --- Coordination and Interpersonal Skills<br />
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All the benefits of team sports and exercise is amplified when it can be started at a very young age. Soccer skills and games are some of the best for developing coordination and interpersonal skills in kids. This is one of the reasons why youth soccer camps and community club teams are on the rise. The game is simple enough to start learning very very young and all you need is a ball.<br />
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FOR COMMUNITIES --- Soccer is inclusive.<br />
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Yes, soccer is more inclusive than football and most other sports. Part of why it is the worlds most popular sport is because it is less expensive than most sports as it doesn't require a ton of equipment. All you really need is a ball---the rest can be thrown together easier and while higher levels can invest a great deal into fields, goals, shoes, arenas, etc. it's not an absolute necessity.<br />
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Another reason it's inclusive is that it is diversified. It is a sport that is played by both men and women at high levels. It is played by every ethnicity and your genetic build or height doesn't preclude you from excelling at the sport.<br />
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These things do not make the sport easier than other sports---it simply makes it more accessible. And I think that's a positive thing. It means that it can bring communities together, provide opportunity and common ground for people of different backgrounds, ages, races, genders, sizes and so on. It's popularity stems from these extremely positive aspects.<br />
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FOR THE INDUSTRY --- Soccer provides a growing pool of new sports industry jobs.<br />
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The sport has yet to be watered down by overregulation in the way that football and basketball has started to go in the last few years and since soccer's popularity is on the rise in the U.S. there will be a lot of new soccer-specific jobs for coaches, players, officiators, sports casters, trainers, college program directors, and the variety of jobs that goes into running a city team in business, marketing, retail, and so on.<br />
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FOR THE ECONOMY --- Professional soccer teams in the U.S. are on the rise.<br />
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Whereas New York is not going to add a fourth Football team anytime soon, NYC is getting it's first major league professional soccer team and other cities will follow the trend. As I mention in the points above, soccer is one of the few sports that is growing. Already established franchises don't have a lot of room to grow, but soccer is just getting started and will positive impact local economies all across the country.<br />
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FOR THE U.S. SPECIFICALLY --- Soccer is growing in popularity.<br />
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Not only is soccer the world's most popular sport, but it's growing in popularity in the U.S.<br />
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Soccer is one of the last major sports left in the U.S. that still has a lot of territory to cover. As such, it is one of the only sports presence that is rapidly on the rise in the U.S. Soccer has been steadily gaining popularity and prominence in the U.S.---the national team is better than ever, Beckham playing in L.A. didn't hurt, and new programs and teams are popping all over. If you have ANY interest in sports as a whole---such as wanting to be an athletic director, sports writer, etc. then you simply can't ignore or write off the sport of soccer. Over time the petty quips will be less and less tolerated.<br />
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Also, it's an Olympic sport, which football is not. So it's an opportunity for some national pride during the summer games in an area that most other countries take a LOT of pride in. If the U.S. wants to "prove itself" as being a country of great athletes, then it has to meet the rest of the world on their terms and show themselves to be a worthy contender. Soccer has the farthest reach of any sport where that is concerned. Doesn't it bother you that we're not taken seriously because we're NOT AS GOOD as other countries at this sport?!<br />
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CONCLUSION<br />
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Believe it or not you can like <i>both</i> Football and Soccer. There's no legitimate reason to pit them against one another. Soccer is a really great sport. Love it, leave it, present a valid arugment for why you don't like it, but cut it out with all the obnoxious put downs with no basis in reality. It just makes me tempted to judge you as a "dumb jock" without an original thought and blatant ignorance on the subject.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-12586799208483271432014-04-17T22:59:00.002-04:002014-04-17T22:59:18.697-04:00Am I a Writer?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've never referred to myself as a writer. Perhaps that is because I have a very specific idea of what a writer is which I don't feel I fit into. I find writing to be valuable and enjoyable, but I've attempted to stay realistic about my skill-level which I consider to be average. Can you really call yourself a writer if you didn't major in English or pursue a full-time writing career of some sort?<br />
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Truthfully, I didn't pursue an English major in college because I felt I wasn't good enough. My grammar and spelling skills were atrocious as a child and though they improved with practice, that weak foundation has always felt like an academic handicap to me. I also find that my mind gets ahead of my fingers interchanging words or sometimes leaving them out altogether (which is at least in part due to a mild learning disability). Thanks to writing intensive high school and college experiences, I know that I have developed into a decent writer. Still, I have this notion that great writers just have it in them naturally and don't have to work so hard at it. I continue to write not because I think I'm going to get a book deal, but because I enjoy it and find it to be personally enriching. It's a great way to sort out thoughts, feelings, and ideas.<br />
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Academically I still chose a writing intensive major: Humanities (one third Philosophy, History & English with my concentration in History). Outside of the English department writing was more focused on content than technique. As a result, the writing style I am best at is essay writing. I was always good at developing an argument, researching and synthesizing information, and editing.<br />
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So while I've never thought of myself as "a writer" I have spent the better part of the last decade writing and technically speaking I <i>am</i> a professional writer. Perhaps not in title, but certainly in practice. Research and writing is the bulk of what I do as a legal assistant at a law firm. I am required to research issues, write briefs in which I develop and articulate arguments, document (cite) those arguments, and edit the final product before final submission.<br />
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Basically my career requires a ton of writing and a great deal of my free time is spent writing (blogging, devotionals, press releases, content writing, etc) as well.<br />
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So you know what? I am a writer. I'm just not a creative writer, which is what I picture when I think "writer." I've never once written a complete piece of fiction. I've had ideas, I've dabbled in song writing, I've written fragments of stories down, but creative writing is outside my comfort zone.<br />
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I envy creative writers. Professional and academic writing requires a commitment to your position and documenting it. Sometimes I just want to write something beautiful or say something meaningful without having to defend it.<i> I want to hide behind the metaphors. </i><br />
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So, I am. I am stretching myself as a writer and it's absolutely terrifying (in an exciting way).<br />
I am finding resources to help me practice writing more creatively and I am letting others into the process.<br />
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This is WAY outside my writing comfort zone. I know that if I want to be a better writer I have to take on challenges that put my weaknesses on display. Sometimes the path to good writing is paved with bad writing. Sometimes if you want to improve you have to let others critique and encourage you. For someone whose greatest fear is not snakes or heights, but humiliation---this is quite difficult for me. If I admit that maybe this is something I love and want to pursue then it will hurt all the more if I fail.<br />
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As my husband can attest to, I don't enjoy learning new things if I'm not at least a little bit good at them first. I have thrown a game controller across the room more than once and still refuse to play games that aren't made for Nintendo. So I obviously think I have the potential to grow in this area or I probably wouldn't take it on. Still, it's new to me. And scary or not, it's going to be fun!<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-20289457125249793692014-03-18T19:25:00.000-04:002014-03-18T19:25:09.685-04:00Ay Bay Bay<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So many friends and family members are having and adopting babies this year! I'm tempted to say 2014 is the year of the baby but I actually think it'll be many years before my social media sites are no longer full of baby announcements. After all, I'm in a my twenties and my friends are just getting started (or haven't started yet). If the announcements get under your skin read <a href="http://thesemountainsaremine.blogspot.com/2014/01/if-youre-on-facebook-keep-in-mind-that.html">this post</a>. If you love them (or just want to keep reading) read on!<br />
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I have to admit---I'm in the "love them" camp. I just enjoy seeing families form and grow. I also am enjoying feeling normal again. For awhile there we were the only parents in our social circle which made me feel a little bit like an outsider (but only a little bit) and suddenly I feel like an insider again.<br />
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I'm weirdly giddy about my friends who are getting pregnant for the first time. And maybe even more excited about second and beyond pregnancies (because they beat me to it? because I want everyone to have 10 kids? who knows?). But all this shared happiness probably has more to do with the fact that we have walked with some close friends through some really painful stuff and we're finally seeing happy endings (beginnings) to those stories.<br />
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This week close friends of ours took their baby boy home after a very long adoption journey. They started the process before we were even pregnant with August and have walked a long, difficult road to get this baby. He's a miracle baby and my heart is so full to see this finally happen after waiting so long. Two other friends of mine that I cried with when they had miscarriages are pregnant---and one is due any day now! Another friend that has struggled with infertility for months and months and thought she couldn't have children just found out she's pregnant.<br />
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There are women blogging about the pain of infertility, or the pain of miscarriage. There are women announcing good news. There are women suffering in silence and women celebrating quietly.<br />
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I can't help but be aware that mixed in with all the joy of new babies there are women who are hurting. Women who are trying so hard to get pregnant. Women who have lost pregnancies and are reminded of the loss when they see the announcements. Women who are single and feel like they are so far behind their friends.<br />
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We have such a great opportunity to share in both the joy and grief at all stages of life. I am so glad I've been able to participate in these stories. My heart is really full today as I smile at pictures of new borns and baby bumps. I just can't keep it in. :)<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-19663113544169935362014-02-26T12:10:00.003-05:002014-02-26T12:10:54.108-05:00Carrying the Burden<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Some days, I feel like 'The Giver' (from Lois Lowry's book of the same name). I feel overwhelmed and burdened by all the pain, death, destruction, and sadness in the world---as if it's my job to carry it with me. Yet, I also know that you cannot truly understand and experience the good things in life like beauty, grace, love, joy, or peace without both sides of human experience existing in tandem.<br />
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When I was 18, this excerpt from <i>A Severe Mercy</i> (Sheldon Vanauken) was one of my favorites:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><i>“He had been wont to despise emotions: girls were weak, emotions–tears– were weakness. But this morning he was thinking that being a great brain in a tower, nothing but brain, wouldn’t be much fun. No excitement, no dog to love, no joy in the blue sky– no feelings at all. But feelings– feelings are emotions! He was suddenly overwhelmed by the revelation that what makes life worth living is, precisely, the emotions. But then– this was awful!– maybe girls with their tears and laughter were getting more out of life. Shattering! He checked himself, showing one’s emotions was not the thing: having them was. Still, he was dizzy with the revelation. What is beauty but something is responded to with emotion? Courage, at least, is partly emotional. All the splendor of life. But if the best of life is, in fact, emotional, then one wanted the highest, the purest emotions: and that meant joy. Joy was the highest. How did one find joy? In books it was found in love– a great love… So if he wanted the heights of joy, he must have it, if he could find it, in great love. But in the books again, great joy through love always seemed go hand in hand with frightful pain. Still, he thought, looking out across the meadow, still, the joy would be worth the pain– if indeed, they went together. If there were a choice– and he suspected there was– a choice between, on the one hand, the heights and the depths and, on the other hand, some sort of safe, cautious middle way, he, for one, here and now chose the heights and the depths."</i></span></div>
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Just out of high school I had my youth and optimism to hold me up as I experienced the pain and disillusionment that often comes with getting older. It's amazing how much you grow up in your 20s. Your world gets a whole lot bigger. This is especially true if you throw in major milestones like living on your own, a career, marriage, or parenthood (all guaranteed to mature you at an accelerated pace). This quote doesn't resonate with me quite the same way it did at 18, but that last line---<i>a choice between, on the one hand, the heights and the depths and, on the other hand, some sort of safe, cautious middle way, he, for one, here and now chose the heights and the depths</i>---I seem always resonate with this particular sentiment.<br />
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There are times when you absolutely DO want the safe, middle way. Usually in the midst of or right after something painful. There have been many moments in my life when I longed for numbness just to not have to feel the pain. That is, I imagine, when most of us put up walls that keep others out. We're protecting ourselves from additional pain.<br />
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Don't get me wrong. I don't think life is suppose to be like a movie. I don't buy the lie that life needs to be dramatic to be interesting. I feel that a life full of conflict, unbridled emotion, and restlessness (all pretty important to the rise and fall of a plot) probably leads to discontentment and shallow relationships. There are in fact aspects of life that are completely dull. There is value in discipline, responsibility, and commitment. If we chase the drama, we certainly will have the highs and lows, but I fear we'll miss out on the depths. The depths require investment in people and places, long-term nitty gritty sometimes completely boring investment. That's okay with me. There are suffering people all over the world that would give anything just to have some boring. I shouldn't take even the most mundane aspects of my life for granted.<br />
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...but what about this burden? The knowledge of good. The knowledge of evil. Pain. Joy. The best and worst of life on earth.<br />
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Somedays it's easy to remember that the sad things will come untrue.<br />
Somedays I forget.<br />
Somedays the weight of it all feels like it will crush me.<br />
Somedays it's feels like there's nothing to carry at all.<br />
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I'm glad that unlike The Giver, I don't have to carry the burden alone, but---it must be carried.<br />
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On the bad days, I listen to <i>Vice Verses</i> and ask God hard questions.<br />
On good days, I listen to <i>Where I Belong</i> and thank God for answering.<br />
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And every day I wake up wondering which sort of day it will be.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-58020452315050779352014-02-14T15:39:00.001-05:002014-02-14T15:39:14.123-05:00Happy Valentine's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I've written many a post and status about why I like Valentines day in the past. I always have. Yes, as with anything and any holiday, it's been abused, used, and distorted; but if we're going to celebrate something...why not love? Love of ALL kinds. Take the opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you. Your dad, your sister, your best friend---whoever. Not because you're obligated to, but because it can never be expressed too much. Let's SHOUT IT LOUD so the whole world hears us---we are <i><u>all </u></i>infinitely valuable and loved.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-21654493415131322902014-01-20T14:19:00.000-05:002014-01-20T14:42:48.639-05:00If you're on Facebook, keep in mind that...<b><u>You have value</u>. </b>I imagine that you may sometimes feel that the opposite is true, but it's not. Status does not determine your value. Not even your Facebook status.<br />
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Social media can at times make you jealous of or annoyed by others. As much as Facebook is meant to connect us, it also separates us into categories. This is perhaps why a single person can feel devalued because they're not married, a married couple can feel devalued because they're not parents, or a parent can feel devalued because they have no career or are unable to travel to interesting places.<br />
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We all feel frustrated and bombarded by our Facebook feeds at times, but here are some things to keep in mind.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">If you're Single and on Facebook, keep in mind that...</span></b></div>
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<b><i>- Only something like 21% of 18-30 years are married so it's NOT everyone you know</i></b><br />
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<b><i>- You can ruin the moment</i></b><br />
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When I got engaged I wanted to celebrate the news with friends and family. It was a right of passage I'd been looking forward to my entire life so I was surprised that some friends responded instead with resentment and disdain. Although hurtful comments were in the minority and happened offline, it made me think twice about posting much about my engagement on Facebook. The "not another wedding/baby" comments could ruin an otherwise happy moment for someone.<br />
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<b><i>- Some people use social media to cope or as a resource</i></b><br />
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If I write a status asking for parenting advice it's because I'm seeking a variety of opinions in a short period of time. It's efficient and effective. People <i>do</i> over share on social media when they probably shouldn't, including parents, but it's often a coping mechanism. It's worth keeping in mind that the parent posting about potty training may have no other outlet to seek advice or may be alone most of the day craving adult interaction.<br />
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<b><i>- It's not always real</i></b><br />
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People have a tendency to put a happy face on parenting and marriage on social media for the most part. Don't let that fool you into thinking it's easy. Marriage and parenting are not easy and I want you to know that you have just as much value right where you are. Rushing into marriage just to "catch up" with everyone else can have tragic consequences.<br />
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<b><i>- Social media is a relatively new phenomenon</i></b><br />
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It's not really that these milestones have somehow increased over the years (in fact people are getting married and having kids later and later) it's simply that we have a new forum to share our lives which means you are going to be bombarded by information you don't need to know and would have never had access to in the past. You suddenly know about the marriage and babies of every person you've ever met, not just your close friends. I actually lament this a bit because I think the celebrations would mean more if you only had a few and they were for people you were truly desired to celebrate with.<br />
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<b><i>- No one is forcing you to read it</i></b><br />
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No one is forcing you to get on Facebook everyday and read your newsfeed. You can distance yourself from it by logging on less, you can even block things off your feed or skim right over it. There's a choice involved.<br />
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<b><i>- You have milestones ahead</i></b><br />
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For us married/parent types, we can sometimes feel like all the exciting milestones are behind us. Don't underestimate the beauty of having things to look forward to. When you are married, you may look back on single life and miss the freedom, the anticipation of meeting the love of your life, of planning a wedding, or finding out your pregnant for the first time. They <i>are</i> exciting milestones that you will experience someday and it will be over all too quickly.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>If you are Married or Parenting and you're on Facebook, keep in mind that...</b></span></div>
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<b><i>- Some people use social media to cope</i></b><br />
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When people complain about all the marriages and babies, it's possible that they're coping because they want those things and for whatever reason cannot have them right now. Understand that those statuses might be a way to cope with something deeper. They may be hurting. Even if they aren't, they are coping with something (anger, annoyance, etc).<br />
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<b><i>- You can ruin the moment</i></b><br />
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When someone is posting about their career, master's degree, travels, etc. they want someone to share and celebrate the moment with just as much as you did when you were announcing your engagement or pregnancy and what's more, they may not have anyone to share it with. No one should feel small or of less value because they are in a different phase of life. Celebrate with them!<br />
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<b><i>- It's not always real</i></b><br />
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I recently had a chat with a friend who has been traveling all over Europe for the last year. I admit I have watched from a distance with a certain amount of jealousy. But it turns out, they're lonely and jealous of my life---having a family and partner to share it with. Just because someone's life looks glamourous doesn't mean that it is or that your life isn't equally valuable. It's all perspective and we often all want what we don't have.<br />
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<b><i>- No one is forcing you to read it</i></b><br />
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No one is forcing you to get on Facebook everyday and read your newsfeed. You can distance yourself from it by logging on less, you can even block things off your feed or skim right over it. There's a choice involved.<br />
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<b><i>- Social media can make you feel lonely</i></b><br />
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It wasn't that long ago that I was single. I remember the desperate need to make plans and to see other people everyday so that I didn't have to sit in my apartment all alone or feel isolated. Being alone or staying home when you're married is completely different from when you're single. When you have no prospects for a significant other and everyone seems to have already found somebody, social media can make you feel so much lonelier.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Conclusion</span></b></div>
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I'm not advocating censorship. I don't think there is anything wrong with sharing wedding, baby, or travel photos online. There are people following along to DO care about those things and would like you to continue. What I do want to see is <u><b>grace</b></u> for one another. Skip over that story or block it from your news feed if it annoys you. Remember that your value is not determined by "likes" and "follows." Resist the urge to try to impress/create a persona online. Celebrate milestones and achievements with one another indiscriminately.<br />
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And above all, when something annoys you, remember that Facebook is not mandatory. You can turn it off.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-65988002835590657442013-12-23T18:07:00.002-05:002013-12-23T18:16:48.028-05:00A year of sad things coming untrue...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If I had to relive one year over and over I don't think that I would choose the year 2013. Honestly, it was a tough year. I don't think I've ever worked so hard---at my job, my marriage, at figuring out how to be a parent, at all aspects of life really. There were times I felt stretched so thin, times when I felt I wasn't really giving my best to anything or anyone.<br />
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I cried a lot this year. I questioned. I doubted. I hurt. At points I felt utterly worthless. I fought an overwhelming urge to retreat and pull away from everyone and everything I love. I tried to be strong and to hold onto truth but honestly I've never felt so weak or so helpless.<br />
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I remember the pain. I remember the sadness. I remember the self doubt. So how is it that when I look back on the past year I feel an overwhelming sense of thankfulness?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's because He makes the sad things come untrue.</span></div>
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Can I share with you the things and people I am thankful I had in my life this past year?<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">a faithful God<b> </b></span>who revealed Himself to me in a very personal way this year. This year, the gospel truly pierced my heart in a way I've never before experienced. Thank you for Your rescue plan---the bigger one for all of us, and the smaller one just for me.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">a courageous husband </span>who chose humility, sacrifice, and diligence in multiple areas of his life this year. He refused to give up or give in. Thank you for always choosing Jesus and for loving me.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">a little boy</span> who makes me feel strong and who loves with no stipulations. Even when I feel like a mess, he wants to be with me simply because of who I am---his mom. That was something that I needed this year---just pure, unaffected love. The kind only a child can give.<br />
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- I am thankful for a really <span style="font-size: large;">great landlord</span><i>.</i> Seriously. Having a landlord who is kind, who likes us, who takes care of any issues right away, who doesn't take advantage of us and is allowing us to live in a beautiful home that we absolutely love...that is something to valued.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">my mom</span><b> </b>who spent several weeks in NY this year helping me manage my life and getting to know her grandson. I didn't get nearly as homesick for NC this year because I saw so much of you, Mom. (I am thankful for you and dad for many other reasons too, but I wanted to say thank-you specifically for just being with me so much this year).<br />
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- I am thankful for a <span style="font-size: large;">mother-in-law and sister-in-law </span>who have invested so much of their time into caring for August. I don't even know how to articulate how thankful I am for both of you.<br />
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- I am thankful for the <span style="font-size: large;">pastors</span> in our life who have invested a lot of time mentoring, advising, loving and otherwise pastoring John Paul and I this year.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">old friends</span> who encouraged me out of the blue, reminded me that I wasn't forgotten, and stepped up in ways that they didn't have to.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">Meryl-</span>--you were one of those "old friends" and I'm not sure I could have held it together this year without you. Thank you for being patient and loving with me. Thank you for being there for me in a way no one else could.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">new friends</span>---especially the new friendships that have formed at church this year. I am stunned to find that we suddenly have a second family we can count of for anything. It has been the biggest blessing.<br />
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- I am thankful for <span style="font-size: large;">Lauren, Nicole and everyone else who ever babysat for little or no charge.</span> I don't take that for granted. You were (and still are) a blessing to me. Thank you for giving me date nights with my husband, coming to my rescue when things came up suddenly, and just generally making me feel grateful.<br />
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I'm thankful for lots of other stuff too---a stable and enjoyable job, a church I feel proud to be apart of, my large family that is always full of laughter and love, a good mechanic, not having pets, getting the hang of this snow driving thing, awesome neighbors, etc. Because despite the difficult stuff---I've been given much. God has taken a year full of sad things and made me new.<br />
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Merry Christmas---and thank you.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-31773158965491837382013-12-20T16:32:00.001-05:002013-12-20T16:32:41.313-05:00"It's the whole world and without it you're amish."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This has just been the week for discovering a lot of really poignant commentary on social media, the internet, and how both have impacted and changed relationships.<br />
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If you have an interest in the topic, I can recommend the following. All three of these are "neutral"---meaning that they are not coming from any specific religious or political point of view.<br />
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<b>This 13 minute documentary:</b> http://www.relevantmagazine.com/rtv/documentaries/no-internet-week<br />
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<b>This 4 and half minute video:</b> http://vimeo.com/70534716<br />
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<b>This article:</b> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/generation-y-unhappy_b_3930620.html<br />
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The last one has a few issues but overall serves as an example of what is perceived as generational differences, an increase in overall loneliness, happiness, and the increase of depression.<br />
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As for me,<br />
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I love technology. I'm extremely dependent on it and wouldn't want to be without it. I love the convenience, the access to information, and all the other benefits it gives me. I like that I can verify the time of a party or get ahold of someone very quickly. I like that I don't have to worry about getting lost or stranded. I love that I have a space to share thoughts and ideas with other people.<br />
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I also hate technology, especially social media. I hate that it can effect my mood. I hate that it can create insecurities in me. I hate when I'm having a conversation with someone and they're looking at their phone. I hate how tempting it is to use as a coping mechanism. I hate how it's used to share opinions that would never be said to your face. I hate how much time I waste staring at a screen.<br />
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I've given up social media for a specific period more than once. It feels good and it feels bad.<br />
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I feel better, generally speaking. I feel less stressed, less upset, less insecure, less intimidated, less angry. I feel like I have more time and that I fill it with more valuable tasks. My spiritual life, my confidence, my relationships, and the quality of my work all improve. I think my health might even improve because I seem to be more active and more aware. I'm just generally happier without social media.<br />
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But I also feel disconnected. I feel like I'm not staying on stop of current events/issues. I feel like I don't know what's going on in peoples lives or even what community events are happening. I feel like I'm falling behind, being left behind even. The documentary above has a quote about social media that describes how many feel when they try to walk away from social media: "It's the whole world and without it you're amish."<br />
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It's crazy to me how quickly the internet and social media has pervaded all of our lives. It wasn't that long ago that life moved along normally without cell phones, Facebook, or email.<br />
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I've concluded that going without social media (walking away) would be healthier for me, but unless everyone does it, it doesn't work. I just end up feeling like a reclusive back woods weirdo who has nothing in common with anyone.<br />
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Unless I can convince a group of friends to all move into the same neighborhood, sell their smart phones, and delete all their social media accounts then it seems it will just continue to be an endless cycle. I'm not sure I can ever escape. All I can really do is try to control and limit it.<br />
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It truly does feel like an addict's problem---having to find ways to moderately enjoy my habit so that it doesn't hurt me, but I also so that don't have to give it up completely.<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-187034053966995172013-11-19T10:10:00.001-05:002013-11-19T10:10:12.503-05:00Holiday FindsI'm going to be writing about some exciting things happening this holiday season in the coming weeks, but today I just wanted to talk about some really LOVELY, meaningful gift options that I've fallen in love with. If you love quality, handmade, unique, ethical products you will probably fall in love with some of these items as well.<br />
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<i><b>The Find</b></i></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MRBn3DYzLC8/Uot5XIWU58I/AAAAAAAAByc/fUkzzDoEbm4/s1600/lightgivesheatwinter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MRBn3DYzLC8/Uot5XIWU58I/AAAAAAAAByc/fUkzzDoEbm4/s640/lightgivesheatwinter.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Light Gives Heat (www.lightgivesheat.com) just launched their <a href="http://www.lightgivesheat.org/pages/the-find-look-book">winter line.</a> They've changed direction, and while I'm sad to see the Suubi line go, they have found some pretty great products to feature. These handmade items are seriously gorgeous and making a difference in the lives of impoverished communities all over the world. </div>
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<b><i>The Woolberry Press</i></b></div>
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http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWoolberryPress</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OYJU6znqgw4/Uot2OOVUrnI/AAAAAAAAByQ/jWxIY6Us4QQ/s1600/woolberrycards.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OYJU6znqgw4/Uot2OOVUrnI/AAAAAAAAByQ/jWxIY6Us4QQ/s640/woolberrycards.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I went to college with Haleigh and I think she's really talented. Her Etsy shop is currently featuring vintage inspired holiday cards. They're SO great. </div>
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<i><b>Diamond Candles</b></i></div>
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www.diamondcandles.com</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O5eU42pUgMo/Uot9Ao1p5KI/AAAAAAAAByo/vjEWPDLgkUc/s1600/mistletoe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O5eU42pUgMo/Uot9Ao1p5KI/AAAAAAAAByo/vjEWPDLgkUc/s400/mistletoe.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">I'm also loving Diamond Candles (www.diamondcandles.com). I really do love a nice candle. These are not only natural, earth-friendly and ethically produced in the U.S., they also have a fun twist. Every candle contains a ring that values anywhere from $10 to $5000. If you have a mom or friend who asks for Yankee Candle every year, maybe this would be something to try out on her?</span><br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3403254095541641875.post-84234600268823424592013-11-18T11:37:00.002-05:002013-11-19T08:39:18.483-05:00Thoughts on Transience <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My mother will attest to the fact that from the second I entered the world, I was a very independent person. I loved my family but I didn't know the definition of "homesick." I was enthusiastic about every possibility life had to offer. Every person I met was a potential friend, every career was an option, every city was a place I could see myself visiting or living. I was always a bit of a dreamer.<br />
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My friend Leah and I used to say that we knew without a doubt that someone could drop the two of us off in a random city anywhere and we'd be able to secure jobs, a place to live, and set up house by the weeks end. We were confident that we could handle ourselves---there was no fear that we weren't capable of most anything we set our minds to.<br />
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I have never been so impulsive as to be dangerous. I've always carried caution and adventure together in tandem. I had no fear of getting on an plane alone and flying to a strange city---but I made sure there was a friend on the other end to guide me, a place to stay, and enough money in my bank account to ensure I eventually returned home safely. I was practical in so many ways, but that didn't keep me from splurging, exploring, and experiencing all that I could. By the time I was 22 I'd visited several U.S. cities and foreign countries, and I'd lived on my own.<br />
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Basically all the way up to college graduation I felt I had no 'set' path in front of me. I've never had a whole lot of direction in life. It's not because I don't think I'm capable, it's the burden of loving <i>everything</i> and not wanting to miss out on anything. I didn't want my identity to be tied too tightly to one thing or another. I wanted the freedom to do new things and lots of different things without being labeled and only seen as valuable in one area. In many ways I have always regretted that attitude. Dabbling leads to having potential in many areas, but excelling at none. It leads you to a place where you wonder if you really add <i>any</i> value to the world.<br />
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There was one thing, though, that was always a constant desire. More than anything else, I wanted someone to share my adventures with. I wanted a family. I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to be a mother. There were points that I feared maybe that wasn't my future. There were many hours of questioning the whole business of marriage---which was not entered into lightly or with an unrealistic idealism. And even after I was sure that was the direction my life was heading, there were many questions that had to be answered about the proper timing of all that. But this was the one dream that I never questioned. It was my one constant hope.<br />
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Marriage and motherhood is my reality now. It's changed me and it has limited me in some ways. I'd be a liar if I tried to claim I had the same freedom now that I had back then. I see friends living in big cities and traveling the globe and I know that is not something that I could do right now. Some days I'm a bit jealous that they still get to live that transient lifestyle. When I see friends fulfilling lifelong dreams, when I see their adventures, talents, and achievements happening---there is a part of me that longs for those things. But I can say with sincerity that there is never any true regret.<br />
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I know I've been formed by a culture that is restless and values personal fulfillment and happiness above all over things. I question those sentiments even as I wrestle with feeling them. I've had enough tearful conversations with old friends to know that the realities don't always match up to the picture presented. I know what it feels like to be lonely and depressed, to question every decision you've ever made, to be hurt and let down by people you love. But I also know that contentment is not really about the circumstances. I know that true peace and happiness has very little to do with location or finances.<br />
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I have a lot more life to experience---some of which may be visiting new places, and others of which may be the simple moments of happiness you feel when you come home to a one year old who races to greet you.<br />
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Whatever dreams I have, I know that John Paul and August must always be apart of them. I know that I would sacrifice any notions I have about my life for their sake and I have no resentment about that. I'd do it again and again. I can't imagine my life without them. I hope that I'll never have to face a life without them. And you know what? I don't actually <i>want</i> to live my life for myself---I want to live it for God and for others. I want to appreciate all the moments of my short life, both good and difficult, with a sense of awe and thankfulness for the opportunity to live it. It's always changing, it's always beautiful.<br />
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Have you noticed that I always feel introspective on Mondays?<br />
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Noelle McLaughlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17218737601857974619noreply@blogger.com2