Happy Father's Day, John Paul

It's Father's Day. It's your FIRST Father's Day. The first of many.

I had no idea how much I'd honestly ENJOY being a parent. August brings so much joy and laughter to our life---he's so adorable I can hardly stand it. Plus he's hilarious. It's scary sometimes---scary to love someone so much and feel so responsible for their safety and well-being. It's exhausting and frustrating sometimes---there are days I don't even feel like myself. But more than anything, it's just really awesome.

No one really gets it, but you.

I'm so thankful that we're in this together.

You are a very good dad. And we love you so much.

Happy Father's Day, John Paul

Baby Steps: Impatience

John Paul and I are doing pretty good with making better choices, drinking tons of water, taking supplements, and we are even a week into a new exercise routine. Easing into this is going to mean longer lasting results (plus all the other reasons this will be healthy and more beneficial if we do it slowly) but sometimes I get impatient. It's summer, I want to be down to my goal weight right now!!! I don't want this to take weeks or months. Basically, I want instant gratification. I'm programmed by our "my way" culture. Reprogramming my brain is just as hard as getting my body into shape. In fact, fitness is probably mostly mental. Our attitude, our choices...they're crucial.

I'm already feeling healthier, and most days that's enough. But there's still going to be a lot of impatience and frustration along the way. Even baby steps aren't "easy."

Baby Step #2: Water

Okay so I'm doing okay on my first baby step of making better choices (towards a healthier me). We're cooking more and there's a lot less fast food in my life. I've been generally choosing better options. That isn't to say that I didn't eat a french fry or piece of pizza in the last two weeks...but we're steadily getting better---which was the whole point of taking small steps. They're more likely to become habits when you ease into them.

So far the biggest stumbling block as been that the weather is warming up. Warm weather means more invitations to eat out, outdoor (extremely unhealthy) river side restaurants, longer days, picnics, cookouts, and ice cream. Going for ice cream is a top summer activity in Western New York. It's just as much a social thing as it is about the treat and a downfall for many...

So that's where we are at, what's the next step?

Baby step #2 is...drinking more water!

Water is underrated. And not just when it comes to "taste." I know there are a lot of people who are conditioned to need flavor and sweetness in their drinks, but I'm not one of them. I genuinely like water (especially if there's ice). But I often wonder if people don't realize how vital it is to being healthy. It's the one thing your body needs more than anything else. I mean your body can survive on water alone for over a month!

Also, your body uses a ton of water daily. You sweat, you breathe it out in carbon dioxide, most of your organs, muscles and skin need it to function. It regulates your body temperature...and on and on. It's the single most important thing you can put in your body. Seriously.

Now technically you can drink too much water so this is not a "drink as much as you possibly can" sort of goal. However, in general, most people don't drink enough. American's especially are often found to be chronically dehydrated. I seems like dehydration is much more of a risk for most people than overdosing on water is. Your body needs and can handle a large amount of water everyday.

Basically it's amazing how much your health can improve just by this one change. Being well hydrated can cure headaches, make your skin look healthier/clear up, help muscles recover more quickly from work outs, cleanse your system, improve kidney function, improve brain (well all organ) function, increase your energy, and help you lose weight.

So I've got my reusable bottle and I'm ready to go!

Now for the more controversial part of the post. I want to preface this with the fact that any water is better than soda so I encourage you to drink more of it regardless of where it's coming from.

However, one of my biggest challenges personally has always been caring about my water quality. I know many people think this is silly, but I can't drink tap water. Tap water is full of a lot of crap that I just don't want to drink. Water supplies get contaminated by chemicals and pollution all the time, especially in cities (run-off, human waste, factories and plants). Even wells and more rural areas are affected (pesticides, fertilizer). This isn't a feeling, it's a fact. There are government mandated regulations on water supplies and water testing to keep contaminates at low and safe levels. I found a website that tells you, by county, what's in your water. Many chemicals are in our water that are over the health guidelines. Just a few years back in the county we live in cyanide was detected at over the legal limit allowed (yes there's a legal allowance for cyanide) and the water had to be treated.

And I can taste it. Not a lot of people believe me (my own husband is a skeptic) but because I was raised on distilled water (we distilled our own) I can taste the difference. I hate tap water. I don't even really like spring water (minerals, gross). I can taste the salt that they add to Dasani. I'm almost positive I could do a blind water taste test, haha. I want my water to be free of the lead, minerals, fluoride and contaminants that accompany tap water. Picky? Maybe. But buying distilled isn't expensive... Distilling your own or at least getting a filter are also not expensive in the long run.

All that to say, when I buy water I drink a lot of it. When I run out, I don't drink it at all. So as easy as it sounds to drink more water, it will be a bit of a challenge to both keep the supply available and remember to keep drinking all day.

GIVEAWAY (Conscious Box): And the winner is...

Congratulations MERYL! :)

Entries are submitted by both strangers and friends so to be completely fair I use a random number generator. Comments = entries. Comments appear in the order that they are approved, not necessarily the order they were submitted. There were 32 comments, each an individual entry, and whichever number was generated, that person won.

Meryl is going to be a mom soon so I'm sure she can use anything free! Congrats again Meryl! I'll be contacting you soon with details...

Giveaway Update: I'm officially impressed

So you still have 3 days to get in on the Conscious Box giveaway and so far the response has been great! But I felt I had to give a teeny update because CB has impressed me.

When they offered to give a free box to me and a reader in the back of my mind I figured there'd be a catch. They're a reputable company, but still, it's a subscription service. I assumed that a free month probably meant that you'd have to sign up to get the free month and cancel right away so they don't keep sending you boxs/charging you for subsequent months. That's usually how these sorts of promotions seem to go.

I WAS SO WRONG. And I am officially impressed.

I went to order my box and wasn't asked to give any payment information whatsoever...just put in where to ship it with my discount code and that was that.

I love that this was truly FREE with no strings attached and if anything it just raised my opinion of the company and their customer service. And now I feel even more comfortable offering this giveaway to my readers.

I just had to share and also thought maybe there were hold outs because of the same concerns I had. Hopefully this will put you at ease. Anyway, if you still want to enter go to the original post and enter away! :)

Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer

Preface

I wanted to start this post by recognizing the variety of readers that follow this blog. You're a diverse group ranging from Christian to atheist and every thing in between. At times that fact alone has made it hard for me to write about my personal beliefs about God, but it's not because I'm trying to hide them. They find their way into the majority of my posts and I try to be honest about how those beliefs effect my interactions with others and my thought development on, well, pretty much everything.

I just hate the idea of alienating people. I love sharing stories and perspectives with people whose beliefs are different than mine, but I prefer one-on-one conversations and the honest  discourse that happens between friends. I want those conversations to be meaningful and personal. I find that blog posts tend to be generalized and impersonal so I've found myself more and more guarded in my writing.

Well today that is not the case. I'm using my blog to process a belief I hold and to challenge myself. It's admittedly the sort of topic that can only be discussed within the confines of Christianity as it skips all prerequisite questions about whether or not there is a God to pray to and if so whether or not he listens. I already believe God is real and listens. This is not a post intended to defend those beliefs. Please allow me the indulgence of skipping over the defense and simply writing my heart where it's at. If you're not a Christian, consider this a peak into a my faith. I'll gladly let you play the part of Jane Goodall today.

A Confession

I need to make an honest confession. I don't pray. Or rather, I don't pray regularly. Prayer is probably the single most important discipline to Christianity and simultaneously a very personal gift. The Creator of the universe wants to talk to me? How could I possibly turn that down? And yet, I have. I've been a Christian for almost my entire life. I was taught the importance of praying and I honestly believe that prayer is powerful. I actually find this to be an embarrassing admission because it simply doesn't line up with my beliefs. I am by definition, a hypocrite.

I think that I have often confused thinking about God with talking to God. I think about God constantly. Every decision and opinion I have is usually weighed immediately against what I think God would think about it. I also read a lot of books about God, have a lot of conversations about God, listen to podcasts about God. But direct conversation with God? I guess I feel awkward about that. God rarely audibly speaks back so it doesn't really feel like a two-way conversation in the traditional sense. And if God knows my heart, why do I need to put into words my feelings, fears, desires, etc. If he knows my future, what is the point of asking Him for anything?

I know the answers to these questions, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that applying what I believe about prayer practically to my life has been difficult for me. Most of my prayers are short asides or cries of desperation in difficult or painful moments.

It bothers me that I seem to primarily seek out God in times of pain. I don't think it bothers God, but I know He wants more than that. I want to give Him more than that. I'm tired of being apathetic when it comes to prayer. Luckily, I currently have a pastor who pushes me and demands more from me than apathy. He has laid a challenge before me and I've accepted.

The Challenge

I've been challenged to make prayer a priority in my life. Let's call it an experiment to see if disciplining myself to pray will really be a game changer. The first step is having a plan: figuring out when, how, and what to pray. I've found that when it comes to any sort of discipline, diet or otherwise, having a game plan changes everything.

When: I want to be realistic. Committing myself to getting up an hour early to pray is not realistic. I don't even prioritize taking a shower if I can get 15 extra minutes of sleep. Though this has worked for many others, I think I'd be setting myself up for failure if I chose this route. Instead I think I'll have more success finding times that I'm awake but idle to commit to prayer. For starters, I'm going to commit my commutes to prayer. No radio to and from work, just prayer. This is where I plan to start and then I will go from there.

I feel like I have to say something here about the concept of "praying without ceasing." Disciplining yourself to pray does not mean you cannot pray at other times throughout the day. It simply means making a commitment to devote certain times of the day entirely to prayer without distraction. That's what I'm doing here. I'm sure there will be other times when I will pray with others and alone that will vary, but the point of this commitment is creating a new discipline.

How: I've always had the most success with prayer when I write them out. I think in addition to praying out loud on my commute, I'm going to start keeping a prayer journal. Also, as a starting point I am going to go back to the basics and model my prayer time after the Lord's Prayer for awhile. I have some other strategies in mind for the future as well, but I think this is a good starting point.

What: I can easily make a list of things to pray for: family, church, friends, etc. And I intend to do so. But I want to make a prayer commitment to one thing I will pray for every single day without exception. I am going to commit myself to praying for John Paul and August. I have made a list of very specific things to pray for for each of them.

*Edit* Although if you know the Lord's Prayer it is somewhat implied, I felt I should add that a big part of prayer should be praise. Praising God and thanking God, not just asking for things or voicing concerns. I didn't feel like I touched on that even though that's a big part of this so I wanted to say so.

Conclusion

If you read all of that, you're a saint. The purpose of writing this post was mostly for me---a way to sit down and really hash out what's going on in my head and come up with a plan. But part of the reason I wrote this out publicly and not in a personal journal was that I value community and the accountability that comes with community. So if you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me and I'd appreciate any encouragement you have to offer as I set out on this journey.

I'll be sure to report back with the results of this endeavor. In the mean time, thanks for walking this out with me.

Baby Step #1: No more...

Even with all that talk about focusing on the "do's" and not the "don'ts" my first baby step is a don't.

Step one to a healthier me can be summed up in two words: better choices.

I have developed a couple of bad habits over the last year. I typically don't eat sweets. They've always been easy to give up because I don't crave sugar. But I allowed myself a few indulgences during pregnancy and some of those have continued postpartum. Mainly: Oreos. Oh man do I crave oreos now. Seems like at least once a week I was sending John Paul to the store for oreos during pregnancy and I became accustomed to it. Now in the evenings that's almost always what I want for a late night snack.

Then of course there's the take-out. Being a new parent is exhausting and cooking is the last thing I want to do after a long day at work. So take out and fast food have become the norm not the exception.

Baby step number one? No fried food. No sweets.

In other words, I'm going to choose the better option.

My first baby step will be to make better choices when preparing meals or eating out. I'm gonna skip the french fries and quit buying oreos. It's still a baby step because it's just one change, but I think it'll make a big difference. I'm perfectly capable of opting out of french fries in favor of a salad or baked potato when I'm out to eat.

Although I'm a big believer in splurges and occasional treats...this baby step needs to become typical behavior before I even think about cheating.

Baby Steps to a Healthier Me

When it comes to health and fitness I have a lot of things working in my favor. The biggest thing is that I care. I care about health and fitness. I think it's important and I want to be fit and healthy. I think it's my responsibility to myself, my spouse, God, and others to take care of the body I have. I'm also not picky. I enjoy healthy food. I enjoy food in general (french fries and diet soda are major vices), but I also genuinely love salad, fresh juice, and water as well. I also gain weight slowly. I gain it, but it doesn't fluctuate drastically in short periods.

Then there's what I have working against me. I gain slowly and I lose slowly. Weight loss is a battle. I've never been the sort of person who can crash diet and lose 5-10 lbs really quickly. It takes time. I can maintain pretty easily (which is nice) but losing a significant amount of weight will take effort. However the biggest obstacle I have when it comes to getting healthy and fit is laziness. And I don't mean your run of the mill average level of laziness. I am lazy on a whole nother level. I enjoy cooking but the majority of the week I just don't feel like it. And exercise? Forget it. I'd much rather take a nap.

Up until now it hasn't mattered that much. I've never been overweight or had health problems so the fact that I was really out of shape (read: have never been able to run a mile or do a push-up) has done very little to motivate me. I guess I've always had the I'm young. I'll care and eat better when I have to. attitude (despite aforementioned positives)...sound familiar to anyone else???

Well guess what. I'm there. I may only be 25 but it's starting to show in my health and on my waistline. I have to care now---doctor's orders, literally.

So how does a person like me get in shape and maintain it. I've changed my shopping and eating habits before. I usually jumpstart my leap back into wellness with a challenge and go at it hard for a few weeks only to fall back into my old habits of eating take out and general inactivity. How do I get results and make them last?

Since drastic changes have failed me in the long run I've decided to try something new. Baby steps.

What I mean by that is that instead of going on a diet or a hardcore exercise routine that I'm probably going to quit after 3 weeks...I'm going to add in healthier habits and routines one at a time.

Yes...I will also be trying to cut out bad habits. I will tell myself...no fast food, no sweets, etc. and do my best to adhere to the "don'ts" but I will allow myself some flexibility while I transition. Instead of focusing on the "don'ts" I'm going to focus on the "do's". Adding new healthy habits into my life one at a time. I'd like to add at least one good habit per week and since blogging affords me at least a small amount of accountability...I'm going to blog about them. So here goes nothing.

Wish me luck!

GIVEAWAY: Conscious Box

Every so often I am approached by a company or individual about using this blog to promote their product. I almost always hit delete or say no. It's hard to tell who is credible and who isn't sometimes. I talk about companies and products I like all the time, but to date the only giveaway I've done was for Light Gives Heat and I sought them out on my own. Finding out they had a program for bloggers to do a giveaway was just a bonus.

But I recently received an inquiry that piqued my interest because it was a company I was familiar with. Conscious Box is a website that exclusively sells "planet friendly" products such as things that are GMO-Free, biodegradable, fair trade, organic, recycled, vegan or cruelty-free. If you have strong convictions about your products then it might be a good resource (as is vine.com and fairtradeusa.org by the way).

What has always kept me from trying Conscious Box out is the fact that it's a monthly subscription. Kind of like a fruit of the month club (or something similar and less sitcom-y) you subscribe for a monthly fee and a box of new products to try shows up on your doorstep every month. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of subscriptions. Just like a magazine subscription the idea of getting a package full of surprise goodies every month sounds incredibly fun. But it's always fallen into the "one more monthly payment" category and I haven't felt I could justify doing it.

But now I have an excuse! Conscious Box approached me and offered to let me try out their products free for a month and also are letting me give away a free month to a reader! The exchange is basically that they get their name out there with the giveaway and though not mandatory, I'll be sure to review their products and give you my honest opinion when I get my conscious box in the mail.

So there you have it! My second giveaway is here! :) Since my readership is limited your odds are pretty good so I encourage you to enter! It's obligation free (aka you're not going to get roped into a monthly subscription if you win) and they're a credible company (they're featured in this Forbes article along with some other pretty cool subscription companies), check them out for yourself at www.consciousbox.com

Entry rules:

*Please leave a separate comment for each entry (this makes it easier to randomly select a winner)
*Please include your e-mail in at least one comment OR if you don't want your e-mail shared publicly comment your e-mail followed by the word DELETE and I will not publish it (I will delete all info after the contest ends)
*U.S. residents only (sorry!)

How to enter:

Mandatory entry:
*Leave a comment on this post and tell me what sort of products are important or interest you (organic, fair trade, recycled, etc) and maybe why :)

Additional entries:
*Head to facebook.com/consciousbox and like their page!
*Leave a comment on their facebook page about this giveaway
*Create a FREE account on consciousbox.com
*Follow Conscious Box on Twitter: @consciousbox
*Share this giveaway on Facebook (with link)
*Share or retweet this giveaway on Twitter (with link)

Giveaway ends May 6, 2013, winner will be announced May 10th!

Goodluck!

Moms, please be kind to one another.

This post is more of a plea. Fellow moms, please be kind to one another. 

I've been seeing a disturbing amount of negativity on social media when it comes to child birth and child rearing choices. It breaks my heart to see moms spewing judgmental diatribes at one another. These rants are sometimes directed at a person and other times they're passive aggressive generalizations. Sometimes they come from mom's whose last pregnancy was 25 years ago, and sometimes they come from new moms.

Here's the bottom line for me: Moms need support. 

Being a mom is no easy task and being a new mom is terrifying. I think the availability of connections to other new moms because of social media is fantastic. It's great to have a question and be able to pose it to a network of moms to get different experiences and advice. I love that.

But I do not love the inflexibility and condescension that can accompany that. I think the biggest area I see this is "natural" vs. "unnatural" choices. I've seen women attack other women for their choices and I think that is incredibly sad. Especially since every family is different and parenting is going to look different for every family.

I should preface the following comments with the fact that I am a huge advocate for natural birth and child rearing. I think that in certain areas there is a serious lack of support for moms who want to do things naturally and I find that extremely disheartening. I want there to be support available for moms who want to have a natural birth, breastfeed, and other choices that are not always the most convenient choices. I am not saying that moms should selfishly choose convenience over what's best for their baby, but I am saying that choosing what might look to others like the "convenient choice" can be the right choice in many instances.

In a perfect world we'd all be perfect moms who were never selfish. We'd have a healthy problem-free pregnancy followed by a natural drug-free birth with no medical asstance (probably at home), we'd breastfeed for at least one year or more, we'd introduce only all natural organic baby foods that we made ourselves, we'd cloth diaper and avoid any products with chemicals like plastic bottles, diaper cream, and the list goes on. Of course in this perfect world our perfect babies would never ever get sick or cry. They'd sleep a full 12 hours at night and take multiple naps a day. Meanwhile, us moms would lose that baby weight right away and find time to exercise, cook, clean, eat healthy, fix our hair and makeup (and get dressed in a super cute outfit) every morning, have a thriving social life, be a perfect, selfless and loving wife, and read at least one book a week.

If you just read that paragraph and think all of that is possible...then you're probably not a mother.

All of these things are great things. All of these things are individual choices that moms should be supported in making so that they can be set up for success, not failure. But there's one big problem. Moms are not perfect. If we're all being honest with ourselves this perfect mother ideal we've set up as the standard for "doing it right" is impossible to reach.

Here's the reality of motherhood: Lots of worrying, crying, and exhaustion. There's good stuff too. I love being a mom. But being a mom, as wonderful as it can be, will never be an easy task. That in and of itself should trigger us to be compassionate towards other moms (and dads).

Babies aren't all good sleepers. Breastfeeding isn't always an option. Moms get depressed and need a break. Some moms raise babies all by themselves with no husband or family support whatsoever making the investment and work of cloth diapering nearly impossible. Moms do sometimes need things that are convenient so that they can get some sleep and regain their health and sanity (or because they're on their own) and that's okay. If trying to be perfect is hurting your health and causing you to sink into depression and despair...that's not the best for your baby.

I know first hand how painful it can be to feel like you're a failure because something you really wanted to do didn't work out the way you planned. I know what it feels like to feel judged by other women look at me and think that I just didn't try hard enough or that I was/am being selfish because of one choice or another. I've heard them talk negatively about other moms who made certain choices and even blame the problems they're having on the mother's personal failing. IT HAS GOT TO STOP. I've spent way to many hours beating myself up and I've spent a lot of time feeling SO guilty that I wasn't doing the best, healthiest thing for my baby---that he was going to somehow end up sick and stunted because of it. He's not. He's beautiful, healthy, and thriving.

There are a lot of ways to be a good mom and raise a healthy child. You have to do what's best for your family regardless of what anyone else (well intentioned or not) thinks about it. This is your family. You love your child and want what's best for them. Trust yourself. Know your limits. Do your best.

Can we support one another and have compassion even if we disagree? Can we make kindness the standard?