What direction? What direction? Life begins at the intersection.
If you asked me three years ago where I would be in three years time, I would not have been able to make up an answer anywhere close to the truth of where I am in life right now. I had no boyfriend, no career plans, no idea where to move after I graduated and no educated guesses as to what my life would look like in three years. Maybe I hoped for some of the things I had now, but I had indication of when I'd meet someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, no idea what sort of job I'd be able to find, and I certainly had no plans to live in Buffalo.
Beginning the year I graduated high school, every subsequent year has felt less certain than the one before. Not in an unnerving, unstable, sort of way---but just as a new phase of life that is ever evolving. Life has been a bit unpredictable and I've often felt a little directionless, even while being content with current circumstances. I never had a set plan and my options always felt endless.
So a couple of weeks ago when I was musing about what this year would hold, I was not shocked by the fact that I didn't really have a clear direction. As with the past two years, I knew that nothing tangible (jobs, city) in our lives was necessarily permanent and that we could be anywhere in a years time. Despite the truth of that sentiment, we are still here with the same jobs, in the same city. That's not to say things haven't changed since we first moved to Buffalo, but just that on the surface things seem pretty much the same as they were two years ago.
This will not be the case at the end of 2012.
You're probably wondering how I'm so sure. Well, just trust me. The last two weeks have been full of revelations and opportunities that I can't share the details of yet. They have me convinced this year is going to be a monumental year in my life.
I will share this small piece: participating in Passion left me feeling like I have the most direction I've ever had about what my calling in life and I am ready to push towards it. I hope to share more about that in the months to come as this years changes and uncertainty unfold into our new lives as we piece together our new selves.
I've never been more simultaneously terrified and excited than I am right now and I may or may not be secretly making lists of goals for the year. Not quite resolutions, but no less resolute.