We all want to be loved and accepted. We all want to fit it. This is something I thought would dissipate in adulthood, but I've realized that is not the case. We all have insecurities and age is inconsequential.
Once you're an adult and out of school, your priorities change. So maybe now, staying in on a Friday night does not feel lame. Perhaps you stop caring so much about how you dress or what others think about your car (or maybe not). And perhaps your friendships, cherished as they may be, are not as important as your relationship with God, your family, and your spouse. Priorities...
Of course, adults don't always have their priorities straight. Jobs have a tendency to overshadow other areas of life, sometimes parents put their kids above their marriage, and God knows we all selfishly put our own desires and wants above His.
For for most part I've enjoyed the transition to adulthood. I love being married. I love staying in on the weekends. I even like the consistency that comes with working normal hours and going to bed before 1am. But I still overanalyze, I still worry, and I still feel left out.
That's right, left out. How very elementary of me.
I recently decided to let go of this. I am so incredibly blessed to have the life that I have and the relationships that I have. Getting insecure or jealous of the difference in my relationship with someone in comparison to their relationship with someone else...well it's kind of silly. It screams of insecurity and lack of trust in God.
So I can't promise that the feeling won't sneak up on me when I don't feel as close to friends as I once did, or as close to them as they are to others. But I will fight that urge and remind myself how blessed I am. It's time to stop falling into the pit of comparisons (comparing yourself to others never turns out well) and start honoring God with the life he's given me. And it is a wonderful life. :)
(Thanks for the lesson George Bailey!)