Naturally, I relate most to women in their 20s because I'm a woman in my 20s. Regardless of if they are married or not, I have a lot in common with these ladies and they tend to be some of my favorite blogs to read. Whether it be about faith, marriage, family, friendships or just the feeling of being in that decision making/planning place we all seem to share---I feel connected. So as far as guest posting goes, I figured this would be a good place to start. I chose three bloggers/women that I've felt connected with, one single, one married, and one that is a mother. We're going to start with the mother. :)
Today, I'd like to introduce you to Jacqueline from Real Indiana House Wife. Jacqueline just had her first baby a few weeks ago. She is a very new mommy. I love reading pregnancy, mom and adoption blogs because as you probably already know (see this post), becoming a mother is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Jacqueline is one of my newer reads. She is so genuine and not afraid to be herself (Halloween wedding anyone?). I couldn't resist asking her to guest post to get those honest first thoughts after becoming a mother.
Since I am a "future mom" with lots of curiosity and the urge to take preparation notes, I asked Jacqueline to give some advice to us future moms from her perspective so far. So without further ado...
My Advice For New Mommies/Mommies To Be.
Hi. I'm Jacqueline D. I blog over at real Indiana housewife, and when Noelle asked me to guest blog about new mommy advice, after chuckling a little and waking up a baby who just got his first round of first month shots [heartbreaking!], I really thought long and hard about it. I mean who am I to tell ANYONE about being a mommy? I'm definitely a noob at it myself!! I do however think that everyone needs someone to tell them the scoop [as they see it anyways] about being a pregnant lady and a new mommy. And so here are MY little gems of wisdom.
1. No one will tell you how gross this whole process is.
Maybe it was me. I had no friends who were pregnant before me. They all got pregnant while I was in pregnancy mode, or had JUST had their babies and we became friends [again] through the magical whining that is pregnancy/impending deliveries. But honestly? I don't know how people get excited about babies at all. Your hair changes colors. Your skin stretches into ugly forms. Your feet swell, you can get strep viruses.....uhm....in weird places. You can have horrible fits of feeling like you're going to blow chunks at any monent. You lose tastes for things you used to love. AND THEN! Just when you think it's going to be better? No. You have the baby and OH GROSSNESS BATMAN! You will never look at many things the same way again.
[In the end of it all, the second your baby smiles at you 5 weeks old like a super smart baby that he is, you'll forget it all was a horrible ordeal.]
Seriously...you may think you'll be a horrible mother without them, I mean I did. I thought "what if I eat something that I'm not supposed to?, What if I don't know the warning signs of this made up disease? WHAT IF?!?!?"
But honestly? People had babies before this site was invented. And you know where MOST of the answers you're looking for are from? Other freaked out crazy pregnant ladies who don't know what they're talking about either.
3. Don't listen to other people's birth stories as much as you can, even mine.
This one is also sort of the same. Either someone had an awesome unmedicated easy amazing "lovely" has even been thrown around, delivery. OR they go 1 day shy of two weeks past due, get induced, get two epidurals and end up having an emergency c-section after turning blue and shaking like a crack addict....uhm.... Seriously. Just try not to listen. Your delivery will be fine. You'll make it out okay. Just listen to your dr, and your golden.
4. Plan for the unexpected, but since you won't, try to be really flexible.
I SWORE I wouldn't get a c-section. So much that when my doctor told me anything about it, I forgot all about it immediately. I even wore 6..yes SIX pairs of earrings to my induction in a silent protest to the idea. Guess what happened to me? And guess who wasn't prepared for the fact that she wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING for the next 4 days, and a few days after that? Yep. I definitely wished someone would have told me to prepare for that kind of thing to happen....oh wait!! Everyone did.
Luckily, I was
heavily medicated in a zone of thinking. Where everything was about my baby and his health, and not about me and my insecurities. Well that last part was very true. After having like 3 HUGE meltdowns, I did what we needed to do, but DO know that just because it is the smart decision, it isn't always the easiest to make. It may still be scary and not what you want, and it's ABSOLTUELEY fine to cry your little eyes out to your nurse, and husband, and anyone who will listen to you at that moment.
and 5. Possibly the BEST advice I can give you: In the end of your pregnancy and delivery remember that it took you 9[or more if you're one of us lucky ones] months to gain all of your weight. So don't beat yourself up for not losing it in a matter or 2 days. I don't really remember where I heard this, but it goes for a lot more than just the weight you acquire. It goes for your lack of abs muscles, your stamina for...well almost anything, your stretch marks, your relationships with people who don't have babies, everything. It took that long to get to that point, give yourself a break. Let yourself ease back into your new life, and hopefully it'll resemble what you had a little before. If not, remember that you really AREN'Tthe same person. You're a mom now, and try to find your groove into your own motherhood reality.
And then one night in very sleep deprived hours when your baby finally goes to sleep and your losing your mind you'll think about how you could probably do it again one day. Motherhood, it's definitely a trip and half.