A couple of weeks ago it was laid out in front of me by a mentor. "I'm not out to change your personality or who you are. There are great things about who you are. But every personality has their own struggles and negative tendencies. Being laid-back can be a great thing, or it can be an excuse. An excuse to be lazy. Instead of prioritizing what's important each day, you prioritize what's urgent."
On the surface "important" and "urgent" may seem like the same thing, but they're not. There are lots of things that should be prioritized because they are important---time with my husband, time in prayer, time with August, eating healthy---that end up not being prioritized because of the urgent---this case has to be filed today, you promised to have that finished by tomorrow, you don't have time to cook so pick this up on your way home... And since the urgent has a tendency to get overwhelming, you find the free time you do have fills up with nothingness---watching TV because you really just need to turn your brain off, taking a nap at 7pm, scrolling through Instagram for the seventh time today...
Can I find the will to be disciplined daily so that things don't build up to "urgent"?
Can I keep the things that are truly important at the top?
Can I give myself and my time to many things, just in a healthier way?
Can I learn to finish strong?
There are lots of things I'm good at, but consistency is not one of them.