This post is just something personal I really needed to process and this is the best way I know how. It's written poorly and rambly...so don't feel like you have to read it.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed when you find out about new injustice in the world? I know I do. It seems like there is always something. It can weigh heavy on your heart. For instance I've been passionate about stopping human trafficking for awhile. Slavery...sex slavery...it's disgusting. I guess part of me thought 'that is the issue that deserves the most attention.' As important as other issues may be---like freedom of speech or a preventing diseases---this issue seems to supercede all of that. These people don't even have control over their own bodies and have no way out of their situations without intervention.
So imagine my surprise when I discovered I'd overlooked an issue that pulled my heartstrings even more than human trafficking.
Recently, a friend posted a blog about international adoption of orphans with disabilities. There are countries who treat disabled orphans as burdens. The conditions these kids live in are often disgusting and they mostly getting ignored. They're unwanted. They're disabled, disfigured, and discarded. Once they age out of the orphanages (which can be okay and other times are just atrocious) they are sent to a mental institution where they will essentially rot...confined to a bed or crib with very little human contact, food or care. They're basically sent there to get rid of the problem and most of these children deteriorate and die very quickly. If rescued, these children can make tons of progress and flourish...but most won't be rescued.
I got so emotional reading the stories of real children who are in need of rescue. There is something about how helpless they are...how they don't really understand what's going on...and how often they wait for a family and if one doesn't come...how unwanted and discarded they must feel.
I connected with so many kids I saw and found myself getting so upset that no one was adopting them. As someone who isn't in a place to adopt and not financially able to give enough to make a huge difference...staring at the deadlines and faces was destroying me.
One boy in particular stood out to me. He ages out this Fall. Everything I read about him seemed to indicate that he had very minimal issues and wanted badly to be adopted. He was a sweet little boy who wanted to help out adults and interact with children. He was just craving human interaction and love. And his time was running out. You don't know how badly I wanted to rescue this little boy. How much I wanted to see him and say "YOU ARE WANTED! I WANT YOU!" His image was burned into my mind. For some reason I couldn't get him out of my head...I was thinking about him constantly. In the car, at work, I couldn't get this little boy out of my head. I wanted to help him. I felt helpless. All I knew to do was pray, but it didn't make me feel any better.
I'm not sure why this particular little boy shook me up so badly. I don't know why I've been so emotional over him. A heaviness and burden have plagued me for this little boy. He's all I've been able to think about for days. I don't know why. I wonder if my pregnancy hormones are making me more emotional than usual but I've cried over this little boy.
Today I went back to the adoption website he was listed on to look for him. And I couldn't find him at first. When I finally did, it was on the page of adoptions in progress. Did I cry when I saw him there? Yes. I did. Why he was on my heart more than the other kids (and many of them I adored) I don't know. But he was. And I was emotionally invested in his story. You don't know how terrified I was that he'd end up in a mental asylum and deteriorate from lack of care and love. I was terrified that no one else would notice him or want him and I couldn't do anything about it. But he's being rescued! I don't have to wonder what happened to him! ThankyouthankyouthankyouGod!
I don't know why I'm sharing all of this. I don't really have a point. I've just never experienced anything like this before or been so emotional over something so disconnected from me. I often feel burdened about issues in the world...but never have I been totally wrecked over one. This little boy really got to me.
You can find out more about this issue at http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/
International adoption of a child with a disability would be a HUGE commitment...a lifelong one...to care for a child who will never be able to care for themselves. Maybe that's why not many people do it...its a big deal. But there are children that need rescuing and can be rescued. And I really hope there are people out there who are willing to rescue them. Who knows...maybe I'll be one of them someday?