Marriage & Adulthood

(Left is my parents wedding photo and Right is John Paul's parents wedding photo. They were married around the same time (notice they both are sporting hats as was the style that year) and are both still married today 32 years later. We're very lucky to have such good examples for long-lasting marriages.)

I think our culture is losing it's faith in marriage. That makes the discussion of marriage relevant regardless of your faith or background, though my perspective is admittedly biased towards Christianity. But I think the questions of whether or not marriage works, if it's necessary, and if it benefits us is something everyone is going to have to make conclusions on at some point in their life. I struggled with many questions about marriage over the years. I've seen marriages deteriorate, crumble, and I've seen them succeed. And I know it is not simple or easy. But I believe in marriage. I believe in it, I chose it, and I believe I'll be a better person because of it.

Though opinions on marriage vary and people are obviously still getting married, I run into more and more people who see it as a trap. Rather than rant about this, I want to share a couple articles that I really liked and agreed with for the most part. One of them is a Christian writer and the other isn't. But I think the perspectives are increasingly rare.

"Hollywood's Confusing Portrayal of Marriage"

(Relevant Magazine Article)

"Til Whatever Do Us Part"

(Elle Magazine Article)

Marriage is associated with growing up and adulthood. It's one of the big independent steps. And the expected timeframe for marrage is getting pushed back later and later. Where my grandmothers were married at ages 15 and 19, I got shocked responses for getting married at 3 months shy of 23 years old despite the fact that I was already graduated from college and living on my own. (And hey, maybe most 23 year olds aren't ready and these people just assumed I didn't really know what marriage is all about). But this was just a small example of how our attitude about being adults, about marriage and responsibility in general also seem to be changing. So in the spirit of that topic, here are two more articles that I found relevant about adulthood.

"Just Grow Up"

(Relevant Magazine Article)

"It's Not About You"

(NY Times Article)

My intention in sharing these articles is simply to spure thought and conversation about things I think are important. Most of my readers are close to my age in various stages of life and we're trying to figure out how our generation fits into this whole adulthood thing. A lot of these articles address some of the lies or rhetoric we're getting...because how much better could we be embracing adulthood if we had some truthful preparation and a push to overcome our fears?