I've been a mom less than two weeks and I already have a much better understanding now of why parents "share" so much. I know that many of my single friends get annoyed by the constant barrage of pictures, TMI, and lack of "other" on their parent-friends (and sometimes married friends) social media sites. I've heard the annoyed comments about not wanting to know about potty training or the fact that they feel distant from their parent friends because they just don't talk about anything else but their kids. They can't relate.
But, less than two weeks into motherhood and I totally get it.
Becoming a parent may be the most altering life event a person can experience. Almost instantly, your whole identity changes and you become someone new. A mesh of the old you and this new person who is responsible for another human life. A person who has to sacrifice their wants and at least for awhile, even their needs. A person who does have to focus almost singularly on parenting at least for a little while. Being a parent does consume you.
Already I can see that an effective key to keeping your sanity as a parent is outlet.
Social media is an outlet. Mom groups are an outlet. Play dates, talking on the phone---outlets.
I don't want to lose my identity or stop caring about things beyond dirty diapers. And I don't think I have to. But if I need an outlet when I'm struggling with a colicky baby and running on 3 hours of sleep...if I need to reach out for support when I'm feeling desperate and frayed...maybe it's okay that not everyone will relate or understand.
Congrats on your beautiful son! I will be making the transition into mommy-hood in a couple of months, so, you offered some interesting perspective for me in this post.
ReplyDeleteCOngrats on the baby, and it's okay if you just speak baby for a season, it does pass. But it is defnitely a moment where you go " how is becoming a mother seen as conforming"- it was that for me!
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