Moms: Past, Present & Future
I write about being caught between two worlds fairly frequently. This week I felt that as much as ever. I got a chance to spend some time with some pretty wonderful godly women. About eight of us gathered for a fondue party that consisted of lots of yummy food, talking, laughing, praying, discussing, and more talking. Invited by a friend, I didn't know most of the girls, but I was connected to them all in one way or another. There's something really encouraging about spending time with other women. All of the girls in this particular group were single. I was the only one who was married, and this doesn't bother me at all. Not yet being a mother, I still relate much more to these girls than to most married women. We're all in our 20s, searching for ways to grow and thinking about the same sorts of things.
Then of course, Sunday rolled around. Mother's Day. We made sure to make our mom's feel special and I congratulated all my friends that were celebrating their very first Mother's Day. More than one family member asked me if this was my "first" Mother's Day (subtle way of saying "You pregnant yet?") or if I had any announcements to make. And of course the majority of the blogs I love to read blew up with Mother's Day posts from young mommys. Most of the blogs I relate to and love are ones by young women in their 20s who are married, and most of which are pregnant or just had number 1. I also love adoption blogs, and seem to hear amazing overseas adoption stories frequently. I got to tell you, I really do love reading about their families. It was so encouraging to me to find other young couples with the same ideals, ideas, interests, and outlook as John Paul and I. We have a few married couple friends, but they are in the minority at least locally. It's somehow encouraging to see these strangers scattered across the country in the same phase of life I am. Though most are a little ahead.
I relate to both groups of people and love my interaction with both. But when it comes to being a mother, I feel caught between two worlds as usual. The first group is obviously not ready for the phase of life, the second is already in it. I'm not sure where I fit. I know I want to be a mom, very badly. I'm not one hundred percent sure I'm ready yet either and there are things that will continue to delay that stage of life. I am simultaneously impatient and very thankful for this time, just me and John Paul. He really is wonderful and I know being a mom will change my life forever. For now, I'm enjoying the time we have alone and the freedom of it. But I admit it, babies are on my mind pretty frequently. Guess that is my Mother's Day confession. Is it a secret? Probably not. Am I pregnant? Nope. Will I be anytime soon? No idea.
But to all you new moms, veteran moms AND future moms...Happy Mother's Day. You're all wonderful whatever phase of life you are currently in. :)