So far, I've failed miserably at making any sort of real process on my grand plans. I didn't exactly expect some revolutionary change to happen just from something as simple as deactivating my facebook account. But I did want to use it has a stepping stone towards some better habits. Some of the benefits I was hoping for have come to pass, but mostly the lack of facebook is just making it painfully obvious how incredibly lazy I am.
I blame this partially on exhaustion. I'm tired. All the time. Sometimes when I come home at the end of my workday I just have no desire to read another sentence or use my brain at all much less do anything physical other than the routine removal of shoes and beeline for the couch. Oh and I'm out of shape, for sure. It is particularly difficult to be motivated when you have no energy, and more so in the dead of a dark winter. I like to eat healthy, and I want to exercise. But at the moment I'm not which is probably at the heart of my lack of energy. And while it goes against some of my strongest ideologies, we're eating "cheap" rather than "healthy" during our "tight on funds while moving to a new place" transition.
Hmm...what other excuses can I make? Busyness? Sure sure. Distraction? Perhaps. But ultimately, my lack of action is probably just a very deep seeded habit of laziness. I've always forced myself to be productive so I've accomplished much in life all things considered...but it's still something I have to make myself do and I still waste so much of my time. Normally, I use deadlines as motivation. Since I have no real deadline for personal growth...it seems it is going to be a slow process...
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